CT2017 - Ind v/s Pak - Pak wins match, loses respect

A snapshot from my Facebook post : Last night the hype got better of me & I ended up paying a very large amount (by my standards) for a ticket to watch today's match. Needless to say, I am heartbroken after the result. To feel better, I had to look forward to more than India's play today & I went back to my first love - photography. Had some great photo sessions today. I'll leave you with those in a bit. But before that, an important aspect of life we all need to take lessons on. India, take heart - you played brilliantly till today. You (&your captain) were gracious in their defeat. Even after winning, not once did the Pakistan captain acknowledge the effort of the opposition. Pakistan have a long way to go on this front. Add to it, the crowds were third grade & heartless. Not once would they clap for a good cricket shot or a great ball if it was from India. 4 incidents of aggression happened in my line of sight within 50 metres of what I could see. Small good for nothing teenagers got abusive with white haired elderly men just because they wore blue. After coming out from the stadium, a few Pak supporters in cars gesticulated with their middle fingers & mouthed expletives on women who wore blue. At one point I even went behind one of those monkeys & asked them - "How does it feel to be on the winning side when you know you have fixers in your team?" Man, you have no morals. Crowd behaviour is one place where Pakistan has not evolved since the 1970s. You can be noisy & say good things about yourself or bad things about the opposition cheekily. But abuse is something that this part of humanity has to get over. They hate us & they beat us today. I get that. Probably they needed this sort of display to satisfy a country who has failed in ALL aspects of life on the global stage. Good for them, but they have to evolve. Not once would you see an Indian showing a middle finger to a woman who is Pakistani just because she is Pakistani or abuse an elderly 70 year old man because he wears green. This really pains me. They have the same genes as us, but something has gone wrong in the last 70 years which needs serious correction. For now, I need sleep. I wish to thank the Indian team & pat myself for getting some close ups of the people I admire. Shab-ba Khair.

EU referendum - really that bad? Or something structurally wrong in the UK democratic methodology

Much has been said in the last couple of days about this topic. So my remit in this post is not to justify whether the events unfolding in the UK (It is still united today - 26/6/2016) are correct/wrong. I am deeply appalled by the reaction of the two partners in question : ​1. UK - The kind of negative hysteria in the country after a referendum is beyond commonly available intelligence. What did they think? That there is only one possibility in a game/election/referendum? Did they never think that one side CAN lose? Were they too high on pot after the Scottish referendum that they thought they could just steamroll any opposition? And then probably have a referendum to leave the earth & win that one too? 2. EU - Badly behaved mother-in-law. Someone today in the EU commissionerate said - "We want the UK to leave as soon as possible. We never asked them for a written confirmation. Cameron can even say that he officially wants to leave". Come on guys. Don't be a sissy. Someone has given a verdict which needs to be respected. At least the UK isn't like you - a cheap but modern Soviet conglomerate copy. Now the real stuff : 1. David Cameron high on success of the Scottish referendum called for the EU referendum - political harakiri after the stellar performance in the last election. As much politically correct he may want to sound by resigning, he knows that he will never get another shot like this where he could have served as PM for 4 more years & taken Britain to greater heights. Calling the referendum itself showed that they did not gauge the pulse of the people. 2. Does UK really lose? Yes & No. Yes - because nobody in the UK or the EU even knows how the situation is going to play out. No - because UK won't die. The people won't come on the streets. Yes, taxes may go up while trading with the EU. Yes, border control will have to be stricter (for your own good). Yes, some groceries may get expensive. Yes, homes will be slightly cheaper. But hey, you save £18250000000 every year in membership & doling out benefits to EU folks. Intelligent folks - convert the figure above into billions & get astonished. These do not include the financially non-tangible benefits like putting a lid on low skill immigration & legalizing & channelizing it through a visa program like the US which will give you further revenue. 3. Short term pain v/s long term gain : Keep the Scotts happy. They need to be with the UK. Today they don't think they are one of you even though they uncomfortably voted to remain in your property. Every country worth it's salt across the globe has a visa program to control immigration. Every top 10 non EU country in the world does business with EU without any problem. Why is it so difficult for the UK to be like the rest of the world. This will be procedurally painful for the next year or two, but will be a long term gain where you will have a sovereign land of your own + an economy which is not constrained to bail out a sick economy. 4. Doomed mechanism - unions Large doubts remain over the efficacy of unions, whether within a company or a group of countries. The western world openly decried the existence of Soviet Union 50 years ago & played every trick in the book of treachery to break that through. Putin must be laughing his guts out now that he did not have to do anything to even effect this change & make the EU toothless now with only Germany + France combine remaining to bail out the other 25 average to poor countries. The EU's intelligence is in severe question too - with countries like Turkey applying for membership. 5. Intellectual decisions cannot be left to referendums The last & the most important point. All the western world need to get out of this fake cloak of equality & political correctness that they wear to show that they are holier than thou. Humans are racist, selfish & very very treacherous. The people of UK hate that there are millions of black & brown people. Immigration is an emotional issue. People can deny or scoff, but it is true. This referendum is the most yellow egg on the face of the elites who keep on extolling virtues of equality. In my own opinion - If Cameron wanted this to play out better, he ought to have played his political cards better. You can't leave emotional decisions to public referendums. Try holding another referendum to check : 1. Government gives a free home to everyone in London + free meals + free car & an annual membership to a local pub. Everything else is free anyway. 2. Government will give you education & you will need to fight your way to a job. See what the result will be. Public opinion can be swayed very easily. In India Arvind Kejriwal swayed public opinion 2 years ago & people thought he was the Batman. He is now a joker. You need parliamentary democracy to deal with such topics. Not public referendums. At the end of it, I am very emotional about this topic as well since I have been in this country for some time now & I will try to be rational but will never think bad for this country. I am hearing talks of a second referendum. A voice somewhere on the back of my mind tells me - " Don't go there, the egg will be yellower than before. You might get a 70-30 vote this time".

The tale of the 56 inch chest.

56 inch ki chhaati. The ruling party leaders - with all good intentions have a motor-mouth disease which has no lesser than the prime minister worried. Whether it's Sakshi Maharaj on the religious topics or more recently Rajyavardhan Rathore on the Myanmar operation. Picture I personally am very pleased that India carried out that military operation in Myanmar & followed the "pursue & destroy" policy in that particular instance. Very laudable. With the Myanmar experience I was positive that "achche din" have indeed arrived. Last year, I was terribly aghast whenever the Congress meekly responded to the Chinese sitting 15 kilometers inside India's boundary. That said, I also think there is a real problem with us & it lies in the over-zealousness of the ministers from this government to speak out of turn. This fellow Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore (an eminent sports medalist & MoS in the current government) went beyond his remit & announced to the world how India has found a spring in it's step under Modi & how we will respond in similar fashion to any country playing with our integrity..how the 56 inch chest is for everyone to see & how it was Modi who asked for this to be an overt operation (& not covert). Doing more & speaking less should be our virtue. The moment you speak something before doing, an expectation is set. If you don't reach it, you become the laughing stock of the world (read Pakistan). Yesterday, there was a terror attack in Punjab & I had hoped for India to give a befitting reply to Pakistan. But this topic is currently under the clouds because of the untimely & unfortunate death of Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam. (and rightly so - all respect to the noble soul). I am interested in seeing the response of India 7 days from now. Will the 56 inch chest show up now? Or was it just for Myanmar. I am waiting with bated breath & I believe, so is Rahul Gandhi :)

Narendra Modi - a champion with a deadline!

First up, I wish India the sincerest, heart-felt congratulations on choosing a new government to lead the country for the next five years. It was a sweeping mandate across geographies, across religions & castes which have for long been India's bane. Term after term coalitions made India's economic progress slow-down because of partisan politics, but all that is left behind now with BJP sweeping areas of India, nobody would've imagined. Now, I am not drawn too much into the hullabaloo created by the media and the chanting & sloganeering. Plus I have been part of a state which underwent clean, good & effective governance model before Gujarat. So the feeling of over-awe & halo around the superman is invisible to me. But this said, I admire him as an able administrator who has the industry's trust. This is what matters the most to India right now & that's why he is the best candidate to be the prime minister. Picture Without making a God of him, but also crediting him for running a supreme campaign which has given India's strongest election result, I would want to list down my agenda which I want to see Mr. Modi work on : 1. Power - Nothing troubles the Indians more than the power situation. Like Gujarat, where he proclaims power self-sufficiency, he should implement 24*7*365 power in at least the top 25 cities of India. This is non-negotiable. The pre-poll noises, need to now become a decisive voice of the government. BJP is no longer the opposition. 2. Agriculture - The prices of food have touched the roof. Partly because of bad agricultural policies, partly because of over-dependence on rainfall & to a large extent because of trader backed hoarding of food grains & pulses. These noose around the hoarders needs to be tightened & I would expect a strong BJP government to do this. 3. Infrastructure upgrade Road length to be increased by 50,000 kms as promised, introduction of at least 3 corridors of hi-speed bullet trains. This is very necessary for nation branding, every developing country in the BRIC has it except India. 4. Internal safety overhaul Police reforms – By far, the worst police force is found in India. Unhealthy, incapable & public-fleecing. People are scared of approaching them. Reforms are a must for them both in criminal & traffic fields. This will also help our womenfolk feel more secure. 5. External posturing I would be very interested in seeing the foreign policy of BJP. Being assertive is very necessary. Without being the aggressor, the Indian boundaries need to be protected. No more sleeping when the Chinese pitch tents 25 kms inside Indian territory. Pakistan, in no uncertain terms needs to be told that India is symbolic of peace, but you mess with us & we push you to stone-age. 65 years back you decided to part ways, now stay there & don't flirt with us. If Modi & the rest of the BJP even shows an inclination to work on the above agenda, I am sure, people will reward them with another 5 years. I am awed by the energy Mr. Modi has shown for his age & salute him for single-handedly rescuing BJP & getting a sweeping mandate which has reduced the inept Congress government to less than 50 seats across the country. Salute. BUT - Irrespective of the poll results for AAP, there was one thing Kejriwal said rightly - “Janta jagruk ho chuki hai, pakk chuki hai.. ab inko ullu nahi banaya ja sakta” Time to deliver on all the promises you made, else you'll face the same consequences that the electorate subjected Kejriwal to. Do well for 5 years & we'll make you our king, else we'll make you sing... “No ullu banawing, no ullu banawing” Picture All the best Modi!! You did wonderfully well for now.

[AAP ka vote]:The face of Delhi changing? I suppose yes!

Well, I have been thinking of writing for a very long time now, but the pressures of my workplace have been far too troublesome off late. Sundays generally are my recharge days & today was one such day. Thanks to AAP. How? Read on... My brother landed in New Delhi today for an assignment. As an elder brother, I, out of good faith handed him generous doses of advice on dos & dont's, so did my mother. One of the very eerie feelings that my mother had this morning was that he would lose his wallet & she kept on telling him that he should always keep it secured in the front pockets of his jeans or trousers. Bored & disillusioned with all that banter, he just wanted to break free & so there he went. Boarded the flight & landed in New Delhi. Took a taxi to reach my relatives' place. Now as luck would have it and as all mummies around the world would say - "See, I told you, but you don't listen" - he dropped his wallet in the taxi!! The moment he got down, he was happy to meet the family. Happy & free - hugged all his people & rejoiced! An hour later, he started looking for his ID card & there - BAM!! Reality struck. "Mummy dearest's face was ballooning over his head saying to him - See, I told you, but you never listen" He was mighty worried - his PAN Card, ATM card, Identity card & 3000 rupees cash were in that missing wallet. Quite a lot for a student!! :) His living daylights had already been knocked many times over by now. Picking up some courage - he decided to ask the Police!! Brave step I must say, because not just the police in Delhi, but police departments across India are considered lazy, inept & incompetent. The moment you go to them - the first thing they do is shamelessly ask you for money. Even if you are there asking which side the toilet is - you would probably have to pay them for it. Anyway, coming back - he was at the police station writing down a complaint. A written letter that received an astonishingly quick reply. They swooped down at the taxi bay from where he had boarded the taxi. Got all the drivers assembled & got him identified. The driver sensing that there is no way out - promptly returned the wallet. All the documents were in it except that instead of 3000 rupees, it contained 1000. That I still thought was a smaller price to pay. Yaayy! The wallet was now back with my brother with the documents that he had kept in it. Delhi police still has a long way to go, but looking at today's incident & the speed with which they acted, I can easily say that things are changing for good. And who is driving them with a stick - err broom stick in his hand?? Picture Well, like Aloknath says - "Shayad ye hamara KEJRU hai". Yes, the government departments in Delhi today are scared of taking bribes because anyone can record it on their mobile phones & initiate legal action against them. The anti-corruption helpline number seems to have lit a fire under the government departments' heavy & lazy backsides. I very much & in totality agree that the means & methods that the AAP is employing to prove it's point are not correct, but the intentions are very sacred. They are young, give them a chance. They have a good heart & it's showing. Today was just a small example, but no political party has taken on Reliance Communications headed by Anil Ambani like KEJRU did today. We need to give them time & I am sure they will ripen & mature with time. Politics is at a very interesting juncture today in India - AAP may never get to lead the country, but if they get a sizeable number of seats - who knows they could act like a watchdog & a vigilante! This vigilante will be our very own batman who will protect the Gotham city against the political wolves. It's high time the Aam Aadmi returns & rises.

Independence - Really?

So I just waited for the entire hullabaloo to end – the Independence Day frenzy. It is good to be patriotic, but not selectively patriotic on one out of 365 days. Plus who says we are independent? Are we really? If you say, we are independent of someone ruling us, then yes – but only independent of external rule. How many maladies are we battling today? 1. Problematic neighbours who keep firing without reason. Their only problem is their lust for our territory. 2. Internal problems of naxalism. 3. Pseudo nationalism. This is more pronounced now – because of which you see demands for separate states like Telangana, Bodoland, Gorkhaland, Harit Pradesh, Poorvanchal, Paschimanchal, Vidarbha. Everyone just wants their piece of the cake. Nobody is bothered about the nation. Each new state would mean new money, new seats, new chief minister – so grab your pie mister minister! 4. Mediocre public sentiment management – Every government should have a direction in which they should sway the electorate. Electorate is like a mould without a brain of it’s own. People still dance to the tunes of a packet of Biryani & a bottle of beer. The government has to give it a direction, not free funds through MNREGA. Giving someone free funds makes them lame, tame & toothless in the long run. 5. Flagging economy – Burgeoning current account deficit, lack of clear roadmap for manufacturing & agricultural sectors, falling to jingoism of the opposition & not opening up the economy for FDI are just some of the biggest concerns. 6. Law & order – This is in tatters. Naxalism & internal security are too big to even put forth & I agree that there are no clear cut solutions for them, but not able to curb rapes across the country, open goondaism by politicians & big ticket scams by the biggest names in the political circles are just some areas which show how inept the law & order apparatus of the country is. 7. Judicial reforms & police reforms – Long pending, but never taken up just like cases in our courts. 8. Infrastructure – The government had earmarked 5 billion USD for 5 years in 2009. 4 years later Railways : • Are still woefully short on track length, • Are woefully short on facilities & quality for a country which boasts to be the third largest economy by purchasing power parity & woefully short on safety. Highways & roads : • The most neglected area of infrastructure development. City infrastructure : • The top 10 cities are crumbling over their own weights. Water is an issue, roads are an issue, power is an issue, space management is an issue. Wonder where the 5 billion USD went! 9. Education – For a country our size, we should be spending 30 times what we currently spend on education. Education is the panacea for all problems. An educated Indian : • Does not spit on the road • Does not defecate in public • Tries to look for a dustbin to throw garbage • Does not fire in road rage • Most importantly does not rape. I just realized that I could go on & on, but that’s not the point. The point is – Despite the macro challenges like above – Can things be rectified? My heart definitely believes YES. In the 3+ decades of my existence, I have seen India evolve from nothingness to what it is now. So I assume that the next 3 decades will be when we come into our own. But is it easy? Definitely not with our current political class. Every single party is corrupt. There are exceptions in a few leaders, but yes, each of their outfit is corrupt. Just look at them scurrying & uniting across board to exempt themselves from the ambit of RTI & you will know what kind of fabric they are made of. What we need to do is punch a hole in their racial memories so deep that they are scared of the electorate to death. For example, something like what Anna Hazare did. He played with the psyche of Indian national congress to the extent that they were bewildered, to the extent that they were blinded & did not know what to do & how to react. Mind you, I am talking about the government of the third largest economy & the largest democracy in the world. Now, how is it possible? This is where I fail as a citizen. :( We need a concerted move to boycott either one of INC or BJP so badly that they go to the extent of being scared of the electorate. Right now, they think that they can get away with anything. Just imagine a scenario - If such a concerted effort indeed takes place & say INC gets under 10 seats in the whole country, it will scare the shit out of their fragile backsides. In such a scenario, the other big one, the BJP will also behave itself knowing very well that if it doesn’t perform, then it’s head could be next on the block. All this starts with a VOTE. Each year, I as a humble citizen encourage, provoke & if that doesn’t work, threaten or even abuse people whom I know – to VOTE. Please use your brains & vote for the right people. Every constituency has honest leaders – the problem is they don’t have the money to distribute a biryani & a beer. But again, use your brains, take the biryani, take the beer & vote for the honest guy. This is exactly what an intelligent auto rickshaw driver did last elections, he told me this grinning ear to ear & I couldn’t stop admiring him. If a simple auto rickshaw driver can do it, then why can't we? I often quote Sharukh Khan for this memorable line that he once said – “You are never stuck in a traffic jam. You are the traffic jam” 2014 is near. VOTE sensibly & VOTE for sure. We could relax after a couple of decades & say “Happy Independence Day” because by then we would’ve earned it. Till then, it's a lot of work to do.

The parent returns..

"Dear NRN, I have seen you many times, but never talked to you, yet from what I know of you, I am a fan. A fan of you & of your value system which you have permeated through the company you built. Happy birthday, may this year bring out the best in you & in Infosys. Regards, Akshay" This mail was written 7 years back by me to the father, the patriarch of the Indian IT industry. 14 minutes later, I received a response. "Thanks a lot Akshay for your kind words. With best regards, Narayana N. R. Murthy" ------------------ Now sample this : Last year, for an initiative, I wrote an e-mail to a person barely 2 levels above me hierarchically requesting him for his inputs. Twice. - No response. I was flabbergasted at his indifference & the lack of response. Negative or positive, everyone is duty bound to acknowledge a conversation. Such people, would never be able to have the crowd on their side. They have neither the wherewithal nor the mojo. So, what magic does Mr. Murthy hold? Why is there this buzz of excitement on everyone's lips when he hasn't practically even started his work yet? Why did the scrip jump 9% on a single day increasing the market capitalization by 6,500 crores? To his credit, he very surely & easily : 1. Inspires confidence 2. Keeps the crowd motivated 3. Is a leader How? 1. You inspire confidence when you lead by example. Much like Sachin Tendulkar inspired confidence in any cricketer, Mr. Murthy does the same. Always on time, hates excuses, works very hard & accepts weaknesses. Always works towards a culture of superlativeness, but never compromises on values. That's enough to inspire ordinary people like me. 2. How do you keep people motivated? Give them an ear & pat them if they do well. Most people would forget awards and rewards, but a small chat with Mr. Murthy or a small photo-op would remain close to their hearts all through their lives. He is famous for standing in long-winding queues with the employees for lunch or grabbing a chair & having a chat with a young engineer during coffee breaks. This aspect, is what makes him popular with the masses. People sit up & take notice when he talks. 3. Being a leader Well frankly speaking, if you do the first 2 points correctly, you don't need to do this one. You already are a leader. Picture I like going through the numbers, I like data to prove a point & I know, based on numbers, there would be many people who would say - "It's not gonna work this time". But, I would like to leave it for another day.. BECAUSE, There are some things which the heart tells you are right. Some things which you want to believe are right. Mr. Murthy is one of those things, one of those factors which make you feel good, feel right. With all his immense repertoire of qualities of leadership & expertise put aside, what strikes everyone is his ability to inspire people from the ground to the board rooms. I am sure, he will inspire again, nourish his 'middle-child' & do justice to his own legacy. I wish him only the best for his newest adventure. Aye-aye captain, sail ahead.

5.5 months of bachelorhood

They say, you start liking a place because you live there. 10% yes, but 90% because of the people around you. I have been in and out of Moscow for the last 6 and a half years, but this is the longest I have been here on the trot. 5.5 months. This time, I lived like a bachelor & died like one. This was my 5.5 months of bachelorhood, the second innings. I leave Moscow with sweet memories, not just because of the place, not just because of the people I met or knew, but also because I rediscovered a past phase of my life. They say, you never forget how to swim even if you haven’t in twenty years. Likewise, you never forget to live your life, like a bachelor. While I am extremely happy & excited that I get to go back and meet my family & stay together and be back to my cozy old days, that should not take away the credit from the people who made me feel special here at a place where I was alone. So here goes, for all you people : Just like Jake Sully had a video log of every single day of his life on the Pandora, I would also like to chronicle & log my time here, so that I don’t forget the good times, good people & the bad ones as well. Day 1, apart from a couple of people, I knew nobody at my workplace. The team was new & so it took a while to get going. I made a few choices, which I wouldn’t be proud of now. Realized, corrected it & felt better. Slowly, I found my roots, became part of a gang… like college kids do. In a way, I felt happy because that’s what I did when I was 21. A little over a decade later, I did the same again. Talk of nostalgia! I made new friends from people who were just acquaintances & realized that a few people who I disliked were some of the best people I would ever meet. Made food together, partied with them & then slept over at their places just because I was lazy to head back home, shared their happiness & pain. Their enemies became my enemies, well, not literally, but figuratively, yes. We hunted like hyenas & laughed like them too! Just like college kids. We had late night talks about everything under the sun, about who likes whom, who should be with whom & why someone is with someone... :) just like college kids. After a long time, I was happy to do the “guy” thing. Not that I don’t enjoy the “other” things :) , but having fun like guys is different. Real guys, real lions would understand what I am saying. Metrosexuals, please excuse, this isn't your stuff anyway. There were occasions when some close ones needed advice. Advice about the good, bad & the ugly, advice about relationships. Well, I am no expert, but like bachelors, I had all the free time once I returned from work. So, we all huddled and discussed, just like college kids. Bitched about people, made code names for people we hated. Invented and patented dance steps, holidayed together, just like college kids. These people know who they are & do not need a mention. When they read this, they would figure, I am talking about them. Thanks for making my stay wonderful. Thanks for being there standing smiling, when the doors closed. Thanks for wishing me good for my next stop. Thanks for making me see a part of my life which I left behind. You guys are true gems. Let's also have a "blood brothers" oath - Once all of you are married, let's regroup & remind ourselves of the good times & do the same stuff we did this time - but like married men! Let's not miss out on the remaining items in our list... Because I never want anyone to say to us - Ты пожалеешь Егоров!! - Akshay. 04-04-2013

To sir, with love

A reserved kid barely 7 years old, I struggled to make a place for myself in my peer group. I did not have the courage to go out there and announce to the 'cool confident' people, that this is me.. I also want to play with you. I was too reserved and gawky to do that. Each day, I would think I'll join my neighbours the next day and each day would pass. Looking outside the window every night, a jambul tree swayed and the air made shrill noises. I looked outside each night and prayed for a day when I play the game that I loved the most, with 'them'. But it just did not seem to happen. Like every kid looking for a super hero, I finally saw mine His frail face, unassuming talk made him an instant friend who I never saw, but could connect to easily. He looked like someone who was amongst us, very unlike a hero. Back then, we had just one TV channel in India. Although it could be touted as the shining beacon of monotony and tiresomeness, that channel aired this interview which is now freely available on youtube. You would instantly know why he was so easy to connect to for the kids of my generation. Like every starry eyed kid, I watched his antics on the cricket field. The enthusiasm gave way to adoration. He just seemed to capture the imagination of a nation. For a nation used to working hard to earn their living, he provided the relief and the cheer when they switched on their television sets for a game of cricket. When he hit Abdul Qadir for 3 sixes in one over, he announced to the cricketing world that this, ladies and gentlemen, is an Indian. An Indian named Sachin R. Tendulkar. Picture From the big bullies of West Indies to the spin quartets of Pakistan From the wily australians to the regal Englishmen, everyone sat up and took notice of this 16 year old guy. Over the years, the continents that he travelled and the surfaces that he played on, he conquered everything that came in the way. With 35,000 international cricket runs, he was now towering above the world of cricket like an emperor who had earned his masses. His facebook page, now all of 6 months has 8.8 million followers. When 'Toruk Makto' played, everyone watched. In doing so, he unwittingly, realized the dream of a small boy struggling at his level in a city, south of India. Me. I had got selected in my school team. That streak is long gone now. But a recent incident rekindled the old times. I met a school friend settled in USA early this year, when he came home. His name is Vikram & I thought of him as the best fast bowler in our school. He told me : "I still remember that six you hit off me, which went on top of the building next to the ground". And this coming from a guy who I considered the best fast bowler of our school.. I could only think of one guy to thank. Sachin R. Tendulkar. He was the one who taught me to believe. I was and am an average cricketer, but it was only inspiration which turned a gawky school kid to a presentable player on the field. I will be ever-indebted to him for that. Like every letter I post on my blog about Sachin, I prove the critics wrong with data and statistics.I am not going to do that today because this is not about 'them'. I have achieved the confidence to go out in the open and question his critics, give them a nice little punch on their nose, but today, I won't. I have got the courage to ask them what their achievements have been all their life? But, I'll leave that for another day. I have had numerous fights in person debating with people on Sachin-data and they've woefully lost. But today is not that day. Today, for me, is the saddest day in my life. It's like an emotional shutdown which I knew was coming, but now that it has come, I don't know how to react. Ladies & gentleman, I am proud to say and believe that he may not be God, but he isn't any lesser... for me at least. I know I am sounding like an emotional fool, but I'll let my guard down for today. With very moist eyes and a gut-wrenchingly choking feeling, I write & I know that for me : This is truly the end of an era. And like all my posts about HIM, I would again sign off with the same words : "Sir, I won't bow specially this time, for I have been in that position since 1989." All respect Sir. Life will always miss you. - A true Sachin Tendulkar fan. PS : Seeing HIM in flesh & blood 13 times in my life on this planet & getting his 'real' autograph have been the foremost achievements in my life.

Ranthambhore - a trip report

WARNING : The pictures are copyrighted and are Akshay Kakkar's property. You will be prosecuted for copying the images. It was the beginning of May, 2012. It had been really long since I went out for a vacation. The weather wasn't encouraging in the least. An idea popped in my mind which I made public. Ranthambhore National Park. My wifey's reaction : Are you crazy? Rajasthan in May? My dad/mom said : Rajasthan in May would be 45 degrees. I scratched my head in desperation. I knew tigers would be easy to spot in summer. But an Indian summer came with its own maladies. But then my earlier trips to Jim Corbett National Park and Kanha National Park were either in winter or wet seasons. I stayed bullish and the rest followed. My wife jumped at the idea of clubbing Ranthambhore with Agra. I had a few things to take care of. My 9 month old daughter might not take too well the sweltering heat and dust of the forest. But we decided to cross the bridge when we reach it. Determined we started, with another couple from work for company. We had a stopover at Agra and then boarded Awadh express to reach Sawai Madhopur. Sawai Madhopur is the nearest decent rail head to Ranthambhore forest. We put up at a place called Ranthambhore Bagh. It was a well kept place. Nothing extravagant, but they stuck to the basics and did well on that front. They had decent rooms with ACs that worked well, that's the only thing which you need in that kind of season. The staff was good, a couple of them at the dining area overzealous.. so much that you would wonder when they would ask for a tip. :) However they have a box at their reception which accepts common tipping and has "No Individual tips please" written in big letters. Such things leave a smile on your face. Ranthambhore bagh sure was pricey and may not live upto the price tag(especially the safari fares which are insane), but they do a good job and I would definitely recommend them. The food was a tad bland than the Indian taste bud's expectation, but that's welcome in the heat and also considering that the place is frequented by foreigners round the year. And if you want to make friends 'in the circle', then this is the place to be.. you would know what I meant by that ;-). Anyway, I had no such aspirations! I was getting impatient to have the first safari. We had hired a special tracker guide to help us through the safaris. He was waiting for us on the dot. The main gate of the park was quite far away. Then there was a wait of about 10 minutes on the gate for verification. We were assigned Route # 6. The routes in Ranthambhore are assigned by some kind of a lottery system. Done with the formalities, we were on our way through the deciduous forests of Rajasthan. We drove for long with nothing but dried foliage and trees without leaves on either side of us. The weather was exceedingly unbearable, but the feeling that you get in the wild is unparalleled. That kept us going. We drove and drove and finally came across a group of peacocks. It was like oasis in desert. I changed lenses quickly and clicked to my heart's fill. We left the place and again had a long trip, quite uneventful till we reached a pond on our way back. It looked like a small pool of water... there was a rest house there, so we were allowed to get down from the jeep. The guide said he'll have some water and be back in 5 minutes but asked us not to go near the pond since it had crocs. I didn't believe him. There was a few deers just grazing lazily, until I saw two crocodiles closing in near the banks. They hastily disappeared into the water again and reappeared in a few minutes. This game went on for quite a while, the deer all the while unmindful of the surroundings. The guide then signalled to me that we had to leave, since it was getting dark. Now, I don't know if at all the crocs were interested in the deer or just passing their time, but I reluctantly had to leave. We then went back to the resort. The dinner was quite nice, served in a neat setting.They serve dinner in the lawns of the resort with air coolers all around. The food tasted much better because we were so tired. Some pictures from day 1 : Day-2 We had a quick breakfast. Our guide Rajkumar, an affable fellow, was ready to take us for the next safari. I asked him "Which route are you taking us on today?" "Sir, route # 2", he replied. I was happy, this was supposed to be a picturesque route. This belonged to the legendary tigress Machli. She is also called lady of the lakes, a term coined because of the 3 lakes in her territory. She is the oldest and most famous tigress of Ranthambhore. However she is about 15 years old now and in the fag end of her life. Sadly, 3 of her canines are broken and she cannot hunt, so forest officers offer her bait to keep the most glorious member of the forest alive. A couple of years ago, her own daughter, Sharmili : codenamed T-17, had a territorial fight with Machli and the power went in the youths favour. Machli was driven out of her territory and T-17 took over the beautiful area with the lakes. Machli now lives in a very small area adjoining the old territory. Coming back to the safari, we entered the gates and I had a gut feeling that wide angle lenses may not help. I had to have a tele-photo on. This was because of my supersition of wearing a white T-shirt. I had worn a white Tee on earlier occasions in Corbett and Kanha too and each time I saw the king. So I opened my camera bag to get the lens out and just as I was doing that, Rajkumar, our guide said..."Tiger hoga, nahi toh itne ye log khade nahi hote" (It must be a tiger, else there would be no crowd). There was one jeep already stationed there, we rushed at 60 kmph and reached the spot, I was changing my lens in that din and suddenly, we all went blank. Sharmili, daughter of Machli, T-17 was lying there, resting in front of our eyes, maybe about 7-10 feet away. She was resting in a old dilapidated structure. We were delighted to see her in the first 5 minutes of our safari. Rajkumar had told us that the first hour and the last hour are crucial and so was it. We waited, clicked to our heart's fill and moved on happy and content. Suddenly the whole jungle seemed green because you just had a glimpse of the majestic cat. Everything looked positive. Even though I am a wildlife lover and I don't plan my trips just to see tigers, but still when they come in front of you, its something else. Filming a wild tiger and the thrill and passion associated with it can be understood only by someone who has done it. My day was made. Some pictures : The day-2 morning safari was wonderful. The afternoon safari now beckoned us after a good lunch. Wifey was happy that she saw a tiger and decided against going for the afternoon safari because of the extreme weather and dust in the forest. So it was just me and the other couple we went with for our vacation. We were discussing that now that we had seen the king, we'll keep an eye for other wildlife and birds. Birds and other wildlife in Ranthambhore are not as varied as in Corbett or Kanha, but it's still a dream that'll make your day. We waited by a baby croc to click and then saw a white breasted kingfisher. At another spot where we waited for a tiger, a couple of affable tree-pies came and gave us company. The beauty of the terrain was compelling and told us how these creatures had to strive to live through. They fight for their food each single time they are hungry and don't get rice or wheat at 30 rupees a kilo. Nature has it's own way of teaching lessons, however we have come too far from it. We continued from there and on the way back, we were hurtling at roughly 60 kilometres an hour when suddenly my friend spotted a jeep standing at the edge of a cliff. We reversed, the guide said again "It definitely must be a tiger, you possess great eyes, we would have missed this". My friend silently looked at me and smiled! And what we saw from there was nothing short of history. A full bodied, young tigress, in all it's glory stretching, walking and showing us its curves from all angles was about 40 feet from us. Good that I had my tele lens on. I immediately started clicking, our luck was smiling away on us today, two tigers in 2 safaris. She was T-41, also Machli's daughter but from a different male. She left us spell bound. Here is a Full HD video of her. Day-3 After an eventful second day, we set out for day-3. This trip was on the most beautiful stretch of Ranthambhore. The lakes were humungous and beautiful. It was essentially a bird-day. We spotted plenty of painted storks, black drongos, black headed Ibis, kingfishers etc. We even spotted a woodpecker and a rare Eurasian thick knee. Picture While coming out on the final day, we even encountered a joke! Check the picture on the left. We bade good bye to Ranthambhore after a very eventful trip.Such trips re-energize me from time to time. Though the weather was unbearable, the beauty of wildlife more than made up for it. Long live the Indian tiger. I am sure they will survive to show their beauty to another generation.

Who's that? Is that God? No it's Sachin

Today I ran into a young opinionated guy at my work, who accidentally drew me into a discussion on my hero. Sachin Tendulkar, ladies and gentlemen, needs no introduction. A simple google search for his name would yield 36 million results. Roger Federer returns 35 million results. So my friends not in the know of cricket would know what they are reading about. Ok, to cut a long story short, there have been a lot of discussions in the last month about Sachin Tendulkar hanging up his boots. The critics, some from the famed cricketing world and some lame(like the bubbly young stag I ran into at work today), are demanding his head on basis of non-performance. I want to write an open letter to them and let the ghost to rest for the time being. So here goes : Dear Sachin detractor, Taking into consideration, your frustrations & constant bickering on social platforms, on media, both TV & print, I want to discuss with you the logic of your superfluous arguments. 1. You want Sachin to leave because he hasn't performed in Australia. May I remind you, most of you were wetting your panties when he played in Australia first. He just had his first ODI tour after the World cup last year. In the previous year, he has played 0 ODIs, so the bad performance of the last 5 ODIs is isolated. This isn't in line with your constant ranting about prolonged non-performance. In his last outing in the world cup, he was the second highest scorer of the tournament, coming second only by 18 runs. It's time you re-looked your allegations. 2. You think young talent in India is blocked of opportunity because Sachin is hanging on to his spot. Well, let's get it straight, straight away. He isn't blocking anyone's slot. Currently, there is no one who is able to topple him and take his place. When he was 16, he came like a lightening and blazed his way into the team. He played at #6 for India, his performances spoke for him & made it to the opening slot. He had no godfathers like current dumb & non performing players like Ravindra Jadeja have in MS. Dhoni. And trust me, I am completely in my senses & my heart isn't taking precedence over my brain when I say this : Who in Indian cricket can replace SRT even with his current form? And I am referring to youngsters. You cannot give a chance to youngsters just because they are young. They also need to perform. Jadeja, Raina, Rohit Sharma have been given umpteen chances, none of them have performed. This way, I am beginning to fancy my chances of getting into the Indian team. Come on, for God's sake. If you give me 20 chances, I can at least do better than Rohit Sharma. 3. You need to groom a team for 2015, so get Sachin out What nonsense? He has played international cricket for 23 years now. For God's sake can 20 odd year people stop advising him? In just his last tournament he was the second highest run scorer in the world in ODI cricket. And just 5 ODIs later, you say, he is old? Mind you, if you need to groom a team, then take Gambhir, Sehwag, Zaheer, Irfaan, Yousouf & MSD out too. They too might not be around till then. What you would be left with is a bunch of sitting ducks who would go and get killed on the pitch. Then people would say, there is no experience to guide them. I am done with people like you. If you have the stats to prove, call me, we'll discuss, else keep your pie-holes shut. Now, coming to the so-called established greats who are calling for his head. We'll start with this gentleman Kapil Dev. Picture He says, Sachin should have retired after the world cup. My question to him is : Why the hell? He was comfortable, his body was responding well, he felt like playing more, he was the second highest scorer in the world cup. Why should he have retired? And look who's talking? KD, I know you were one of the best 'in your era'. You reached the landmark of 400 test wickets in 1992. Since then, you huffed and puffed for 3 long painful years to reach this personal milestone. You took 34 wickets in 3 years. Harbhajan Singh took 31 in one series in 2001. The whole team had to offer you crutches to cross the finish line. Azharuddin had to instruct Kumble to bowl outside the leg stump in the final match so that you could take your 434th victim. You were in the team as an all-rounder, forget a 100, you did not score a fifty in your last 105 matches. You prolonged your non-performance for 3 years and now you have developed the balls to question another great who had offered his unflinching support to his country for 23 years. Agreed, you were great, you were up there & now you are nowhere. The need to grab eyeballs has gotten better of you. You are the Rakhi Sawant of cricket. I feel bad desecrating you, but you asked for it. Now, the next offender: Sanjay Manjrekar Ranthambhore - a trip report 5/13/2012 54 Comments WARNING : The pictures are copyrighted and are Akshay Kakkar's property. You will be prosecuted for copying the images. It was the beginning of May, 2012. It had been really long since I went out for a vacation. The weather wasn't encouraging in the least. An idea popped in my mind which I made public. Ranthambhore National Park. My wifey's reaction : Are you crazy? Rajasthan in May? My dad/mom said : Rajasthan in May would be 45 degrees. I scratched my head in desperation. I knew tigers would be easy to spot in summer. But an Indian summer came with its own maladies. Read More 54 Comments A 100 100s, a dream fulfilled, a nation content 3/16/2012 4 Comments The day has come. History has once again been made. He is the superman from India. The man of the century. The date : 16th March, 2012. The name : Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. The record : A 100 international 100s. Till yesterday, there were illiterates having an opinion on Sachin Tendulkar. People were advising him on how his future should be handled. Spare a thought gentlemen, he has spent 23 years in this profession and is by far the most unparalleled icon the world has ever produced. Today, the ever so incorrigible Nasser Hussain, said he should be placed above Sir Don Bradman for there is no doubt that when it comes to longevity, consistency & brilliance, even the Don could not come close. The country has been in a delirium since 5 pm today. Festivals being celebrated, sweets distributed across the nation. The same media houses , the same cricket illiterates who asked for his head till yesterday come up with nothing else on them but Sachin. There are aartis being performed on the news channels. Bloody hypocrites. Kapil Dev(please refer to my previous blog post), pops up on the TV today, sticks out his head & says, "Sachin is a legend, looking at him, I want him to play, to continue & maybe score 15 more." What an irony! But what I witnessed today, isn't something I would like to dampen with the pedestrian opinions of media houses. I do not have a memory of Sachin Tendulkar when he played first in 1989. I was too young to assimilate the genius of the man then. The first I saw of him was 1993 world cup, where he made a couple of 50s. I liked his name then. The sound of Ten-dul-kar felt nice. Through the next 6 years, he became not just mine, but the country's obsession. The 'desert storm' innings is a part of the folklore now. 15 years down the line, I am going to, like millions of others, tell my kid : "Hey look, you wanna know what dedication, hardwork & patriotism is? Watch this.. the desert storm...on youtube(provided google doesn't go bust by then)" His ferocity for runs at 39 is something which people have at 23. His popularity is such that Shah Rukh Khan would be embarrassed if he and Sachin ever shared the stage. Despite all this, he chooses to be mum, polite & humble all the time. Through the 23 years, people have taunted him, ridiculed and slighted him with terms like 'Endulkar', he has remained the same humble, mellow person. Everytime he replied, but only with his bat. Not once in his 23 years did I ever hear him using expletives or retorting angrily to the raucous media. The endulkar was predicted by the media and cricket pundits in 1996. Some of those people must be in their graves by now. Sachin has continued 16 years after that and mind you, like a star. Myth People come up with all kinds of false statistics saying that whenever he scores a ton, India loses. Reality Out of his 49 ODI 100s till date, India has won 33, lost 14, drawn 1, no result 1. The true measure of his following is illustrated by the below video. This was shot at my workplace today. Despite hectic work, people chose to stop, pause & come to watch their hero. They came to a place where they would otherwise not go to. We went to the drivers' retiring room in the multi-level-parking-lot. That's the only place a television is available. The small room was filled to capacity. People trickled in when Sachin reached 50 and stayed on exactly till he got out. Even the 'helicopter baba' in the slog overs couldn't keep the crowd on. People left as soon as Sachin got out. Check out the feverish adulation that this man got. Scroll to 2 mins & 59 seconds directly because this video isn't particularly a short one. Please excuse the poor quality of the video and the bad angles. Shooting through the crowd was a challenge. A 100 100s and look at his reaction in HD now. Muted, satisfied and content. His trademark 'look-to-the-sky' also a part of it. Don't miss the uncharacteristic tap on his helmet, showing something to the dressing room. Check the video at 0:23 seconds for this. He is almost saying, this milestone is for an Indian to achieve (tapping the helmet pointing to the Indian flag). His interview after reaching the milesone. It's true when they say that you don't realize a person's worth till he is long gone. But this man isn't yet gone. He is amidst us. We live the spectacle every time he comes on field. We watch him in awe, we adore him, we can't get enough of him. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar, you have achieved the unthinkable. Live on. Rock on. 4 Comments Who's that? Is that God? No it's Sachin 3/7/2012 11 Comments Today I ran into a young opinionated guy at my work, who accidentally drew me into a discussion on my hero. Sachin Tendulkar, ladies and gentlemen, needs no introduction. A simple google search for his name would yield 36 million results. Roger Federer returns 35 million results. So my friends not in the know of cricket would know what they are reading about. Ok, to cut a long story short, there have been a lot of discussions in the last month about Sachin Tendulkar hanging up his boots. The critics, some from the famed cricketing world and some lame(like the bubbly young stag I ran into at work today), are demanding his head on basis of non-performance. I want to write an open letter to them and let the ghost to rest for the time being. So here goes : Dear Sachin detractor, Taking into consideration, your frustrations & constant bickering on social platforms, on media, both TV & print, I want to discuss with you the logic of your superfluous arguments. 1. You want Sachin to leave because he hasn't performed in Australia. May I remind you, most of you were wetting your panties when he played in Australia first. He just had his first ODI tour after the World cup last year. In the previous year, he has played 0 ODIs, so the bad performance of the last 5 ODIs is isolated. This isn't in line with your constant ranting about prolonged non-performance. In his last outing in the world cup, he was the second highest scorer of the tournament, coming second only by 18 runs. It's time you re-looked your allegations. 2. You think young talent in India is blocked of opportunity because Sachin is hanging on to his spot. Well, let's get it straight, straight away. He isn't blocking anyone's slot. Currently, there is no one who is able to topple him and take his place. When he was 16, he came like a lightening and blazed his way into the team. He played at #6 for India, his performances spoke for him & made it to the opening slot. He had no godfathers like current dumb & non performing players like Ravindra Jadeja have in MS. Dhoni. And trust me, I am completely in my senses & my heart isn't taking precedence over my brain when I say this : Who in Indian cricket can replace SRT even with his current form? And I am referring to youngsters. You cannot give a chance to youngsters just because they are young. They also need to perform. Jadeja, Raina, Rohit Sharma have been given umpteen chances, none of them have performed. This way, I am beginning to fancy my chances of getting into the Indian team. Come on, for God's sake. If you give me 20 chances, I can at least do better than Rohit Sharma. 3. You need to groom a team for 2015, so get Sachin out What nonsense? He has played international cricket for 23 years now. For God's sake can 20 odd year people stop advising him? In just his last tournament he was the second highest run scorer in the world in ODI cricket. And just 5 ODIs later, you say, he is old? Mind you, if you need to groom a team, then take Gambhir, Sehwag, Zaheer, Irfaan, Yousouf & MSD out too. They too might not be around till then. What you would be left with is a bunch of sitting ducks who would go and get killed on the pitch. Then people would say, there is no experience to guide them. I am done with people like you. If you have the stats to prove, call me, we'll discuss, else keep your pie-holes shut. Now, coming to the so-called established greats who are calling for his head. We'll start with this gentleman Kapil Dev. Picture He says, Sachin should have retired after the world cup. My question to him is : Why the hell? He was comfortable, his body was responding well, he felt like playing more, he was the second highest scorer in the world cup. Why should he have retired? And look who's talking? KD, I know you were one of the best 'in your era'. You reached the landmark of 400 test wickets in 1992. Since then, you huffed and puffed for 3 long painful years to reach this personal milestone. You took 34 wickets in 3 years. Harbhajan Singh took 31 in one series in 2001. The whole team had to offer you crutches to cross the finish line. Azharuddin had to instruct Kumble to bowl outside the leg stump in the final match so that you could take your 434th victim. You were in the team as an all-rounder, forget a 100, you did not score a fifty in your last 105 matches. You prolonged your non-performance for 3 years and now you have developed the balls to question another great who had offered his unflinching support to his country for 23 years. Agreed, you were great, you were up there & now you are nowhere. The need to grab eyeballs has gotten better of you. You are the Rakhi Sawant of cricket. I feel bad desecrating you, but you asked for it. Now, the next offender: Sanjay Manjrekar Picture He has been whining since 4 years now about Sachin's form and every year he gets a slap on his face from Sachin's bat. I think it is blasphemous even to compare him with Sachin. Have a look at his stats. It's a joke to even compare them Mat Inns NO Runs HS Ave BF SR 100 50 4s 6s Ct St Tests 37 61 6 2043 218 37.14 5282 38.67 4 9 220 1 25 1 ODIs 74 70 10 1994 105 33.23 3101 64.30 1 15 99 10 23 0 He has scored 5 hundreds all his life, tests + ODIs. Sachin scored 9 in 1998 alone. Sachin has scored 99 hundreds in all. Stack up his 8000 runs against Sachin Tendulkar's 33000 runs & you'll know why the dogs bark. One last offender, this time from down under. Ian Chappell. He too is of the Manjrekar league, has been whining for a long while now. Again, I will spare myself the pain. Check out his stats : Mat Inns NO Runs HS Ave BF SR 100 50 4s 6s Ct St Tests 75 136 10 5345 196 42.42 14 26 15 105 0 ODIs 16 16 2 673 86 48.07 874 77.00 0 8 74 7 5 0 At best, he is an average Australian player, let alone international. There is one thing common in the above people. They make a living by desecrating Sachin Tendulkar. To me, Sachin Tendulkar is the man who captured the imagination of a nation worth a billion people. He became the hero when there was poverty and lawlessness all around. People needed a hero. He stood up. He could bind India like nothing could. The country came to a standstill every time he walked out to bat. They would turn off their TV sets once he got out. He has been the one for 23 years. In his twilight, he at least deserves a rational farewell. He is not the one who will hang around just because he is making money. He has had enough of it all his life. He was the one who stood up and said, I will not play T20 for India, because it's a youngsters game and I don't fit in. Be rest assured, he won't rob anyone of his place in the team. At least stop being ungrateful bastards, and give him his due right to decide his retirement. We are a selfish lot, and I am ashamed. The end for him may not be far ahead, but a true human, a true sports person & a great role model deserves better from a selfish nation. I had this status message on FB when he made his 50th test ton : "I won't bow specially for this one, because I have been in that position since 1989". All respect to you sir. Regards, A Sachin Tendulkar fan.

Chetan Bhankas. A sham or pure dung?

Ok, so here's the deal. No crap. What do you get out of the below two pictures? If you find something common, mail me. I owe you 50 bucks for possessing common sense. If not, then abuse me in the comments section(you will, by the time you finish reading this). Picture Picture The first picture is of a book which released a week ago. The author : A nondescript human, an under-performer, an abusive and arrogant player called Shoaib Akhtar. The second picture is of a book which releases today. The author : An acclaimed nursery rhymes author whose signature is more illegible than my doctor's RX prescription. SA(hereafter for Shoaib Akhtar) and CB(Chetan Bhankas) both wanted to release books. Both had faded out of public memory, both did not command any premium. Both needed to be a Rakhi Sawant to be able to grab eyeballs. SA said 'Sachin-Oh-My-God-Tendulkar' was afraid of him and that his legs shivered when he bowled to him. Though the whole world laughed him off and his own countrymen scoffed at him, he got what he wanted. Attention. Now it was CB's turn. He couldn't mock at Sachin because there wasn't anything in common. So he carefully chooses a sentence out of a whole speech which emphasized more on the way IIT selection pattern should change to make a point for himself. Today NDTV's Sagarika Ghose interviews him and he turns a cat. I quote : Sagarika Ghose: But do you regret what you said about Mr Narayana Murthy and Infosys? Chetan Bhagat: No, not really. I mean I wanted to, my point is very valid. And in fact, I was speaking to the Infosys people and they have agreed that, you know, why bring the students in to it. Why judge the students? It may even be true that he has something he feels about the quality of the students. But, it's very high-handed. Same way, when I call Infosys a body shop it's high-handed. Unquote. Where is all your bravado? Your swagger? Mr Bhankas? Today you are suggesting that it was a mere tit for tat? Let me tell you, you have no tit and don't have any gut to tat if at all there was a tit. You are the same guy, right? The one who cried like a baby all over the media when your name did not appear in the credits of 3-idiots? Your conflicting views in the media for 2 full days held the nation to a big soap opera. It was only after Aamir Khan clarifed that a water tight contract was signed on this, and that you had got what you deserved, did you shut your pie-hole. A lot of like thinkers have chosen to be soft on you, but I am extreme right wing. If you say, "I think it's like something ingrained in us. If someone takes an attack on your college, you've got to defend it. Won't you? " I say, I have an equal right to decimate you my dear rhyme writer. Bodyshop is a term coined by the hegemonistic Britons and Americans who like jingoism about India because they just aren't capable of securing jobs for the amount that we do. Bodyshop is a fictional term for the Indian IT industry. Bodyshop is something which is far from the reality of a $7.25 billion company. Least of all, if bodyshop is the company you are talking about, then you are cheap unsold meat. I have had the horror and pain of reading just one book of yours on the call centre. I haven't read a more frivolous, shallow and comic book like material anywhere else. The supplementary English text book of my 7th grade (not the main English text book) had more absorbing stuff. I moved with the horses when I read the Trojan war in the 6th grade.. but 20 years later, I slept when I read about the call centre. That book also had a disastrous movie made on it.. but that's for another day. The cry baby was set right by Aamir Khan in 2009 and I am thankful for that. May God bless Aamir Khan. Now coming to your accusations about the bodyshop. Uncle CB, I would invite you for a day to come and do the work. I would urge you to do this because only then would you realize how difficult it is to earn a single dollar from bargaining clients who would hunt you down like wolves. I challenge you, work with me, earn a dollar for my project, and I would advertise all your comic books for the rest of your life. It's easy to be like Rakhi Sawant, but not Mr. Murthy. A person who has had a modest beginning and having risen to where he has, commands a lot more than you do uncle. You would never get written about in any business column of any newspaper. That's because you never earn for others. He does, his brand does. Next time, when you launch a book, make sure that you go to malls and multiplexes to advertise your version of crap well so that you are able to sell it. Just don't mess with the mindset of an industry you have no clue about or should I say never could be a part of. Stay in your den and I will stay in mine. Mail me, if you need clarifications.

Bringing the paunchy lion back from fat to fit!

Did you ever try comparing the Homo sapien with Panthera Leo? The commonalities could be interesting. Men are just like lions. Women, lionesses. 1. Lions and lionesses are born similar. Ditto men and women. 2. Lions build more muscular mass and heft. Lionesses are more gracious and beautiful. Ditto men and women 3. Lions have ugly manes, lionesses look suave without body hair. Ditto men and women(minus the metrosexual, chest shaving pseudo andro). 4. Lions hunt hard till they achieve success. Success would mean skills of hunting and a companion. That’s the end for them. Lionesses continue to do the good work, earning bread, doing the daily jobs while the lazy lions look around, sleep and gaze at trees. Sometimes when they spot a buffalo and just look at the lioness nodding their head, the lioness does the rest. Sometimes they look at trees and bees coyly, not because they have nothing to do, but because they are too lazy to do anything but look. And believe me, that’s all they do during the day. They look at stationary objects till they feel hungry, and once the hunger beckons, they still look, but this time at the lioness. If looking involved a few tasks, like going to the nearby shelf, picking up your eyes, putting them on and then looking, they would happily skip looking too. Probably then the only thing they would do is breathe! Now all this translates into a lot for the working lady of the pride, but look at what it does.. It keeps her fit and fighting. Not an ounce of extra flab anywhere on her body. She looks radiant golden and not muddy, dirty brown like her companion. Now, how many of us men don’t feel like lions? Be frank, don’t say that I do a lot of work or don’t dismiss this thought as a figment of my imagination. There is a substantial population of men who are just like lions. I am the flag bearer of this genre of laziness. I like sleeping, dozing off when I have nothing to do, dozing off even when I have something to do. If there is something which can be done right away, we find ways to postpone it. If we lose our way while driving, and the lady asks us to ask for directions, we just don’t do it. We are men .. we don’t ask for directions. Have you seen a lion asking other lions or a deer, “ Hey deer, do you know which way the lake is?” On a Friday I make plans, these are the 5 things to do this weekend. Come Saturday, I postpone 3 to Sunday and keep 2 for Saturday afternoon. Saturday, 12 pm the hunger pangs strike, ok.. what would the lion do in this circumstance? Look at the lady of the house. After a sumptuous meal, look at the walls, because there are no trees and bees in my house.. loiter a bit and then.. boom.. fall asleep. A loud noise would awaken me at 6 pm on Saturday… television is the next target. At 9 pm, the lazy lion realizes that the 2 tasks aren’t done, so they too get pushed to Sunday. The cycle repeats on Sunday too. Probably this is why the lion puts on so much weight! Probably this is why the lion becomes paunchy and the lioness is fighting fit! Sadly, this is the one thing the lion/me find difficult to quit!! The inertia of laziness. I can fight extreme temperatures I can fight vices I can fight even the Romans But I can't fight the battle of the bulging paunch! :) Now, any lady reading this would think we are losers. Really lazy losers. But in our defence, we are not . We are like any other important member of the family. The lion isn’t overrated. It’s not the head of the pride for nothing. He keeps the pride protected. His bulk helps him in that. :P He is also a quick thinker. Most strategies of group hunting are formulated by him and followed by the ladies. He doesn’t ask for directions, but give him 10 minutes and he’ll figure out a way to reach the water. All he cannot do is control his weight :( Much to his dislike about taking instructions, if someone has some good tips, please duly help the bulky lion :P PS : This is a fun post, don’t read too much into it! I am still not way above the prescribed BMI!! It’s been 2 days since I chucked the lift, this post is just in continuation of this effort!

Lokpal and the flood waters

The country has witnessed the brouhaha over Lokpal bill over the last few months. Reaching a fever pitch, it finally ended yesterday with the civil society of India claiming victory. But was it a victory? Yes and no. I have two views and people would say I am running with the hare and hunting with the hounds! But delve a little deeper and you would find the answer yourself. There is a set of people who have criticized Anna's way of holding the parliament to ransom and also the Jan lokpal bill itself. There is a huge chunk on the other side cheering the Jan lokpal. They outnumber the ratios with 1 : maybe a million. Very eminent visionaries have questioned the creation of another law and also Anna's way. Check out Nandan Nilekani's interview with Shekhar Gupta : Now my take 1 : While all this is right, while all this is intellectual, while all this is super looking on a paper in front of the standing committee, the supreme policy making body of the largest democracy of the world, it also should be understood and remembered that somewhere it is the government speaking. Nandan, 4 years back, talked of a lacklusture government not providing support to the city infrastructure of Bangalore. He talked of how he, as a part of a citizen charter took up various initiatives and how still work on the elevated expressway never went smoothly even after being in the running for years together. Now, wasn't that flyover delay a concern of a citizen and this speech a view of the government? With utmost respect for the reverence I have for him, I would like to ask him, one small question : The example being talked about in the interview of Public Distribution System being faulty, is again just a very small example. Yes, it is a problem, but not the only problem. As a citizen of this country, I faced a problem in getting my passport issued, how is Aadhaar or any other scheme by the government going to help me? Anna's talk of including lower bureaucracy may or may not help me, but certainly it will create the fear of law, certainly I would have an option to fallback on. Today, the police verification guy demands money, when the passport comes, the postman demands money. If I refuse to co-operate, then I am singled out by the entire system and bureaucracy and tortured till I comply. Which step has the government taken in 60 years of independence to solve my problems? This brings me to the title of this post. Flood waters! Flood waters of Mumbai which ravaged the city again today. Every damn year, the commercial capital is inundated as if it is some remote village. Roads become rivers, trains stop, common men die. I myself witnessed this in 2007 and came back home neck deep in the waters. Read my harrowing experience of 2007 here. Four years since, the government has promised to make Mumbai Shanghai, shared plans with the public about how the drainage is being overhauled, on paper. Every year the floods come, the government makes promises and gets away with the India shining bonhomie. In a way, Lokpal bill fiasco isn't just about the bill alone, it is a vent to the immense public anger, the release of the pent up energy, frustrated energy. What systems are we talking about? About systems which have not passed the Lokpal bill even 40 years since its first introduction? Critics would slam me, citing that freewill ofthe parliament is being questioned. What about the freewill of the 1000 million people? Nobody is saying Lokpal is the panacea. Yet it is a beginning. Is it not time even after 60 years to get out of the mentality of pulling down the man who makes an attempt? Who says Anna is the be all and end all. All I say is that Anna has made a beginning, the bill will still go to the parliament, its not as if it becomes a law circumventing the parliament. The lower bureaucracy works this way, it needs to be hauled up. Even Nandan would agree, a software developer doesn't work without a team lead and a team lead doesn't work without a manager. A police constable doesn't work without a sub inspector and a sub inspector doesn't work without an inspector. If all this policing wasn't needed, then probably IT companies could do by hiring freshers alone and police could do by hiring constables alone. Think about it! Now take 2 : By now, most of you would think I am a blind Anna supporter! Yeah I am, not of Anna, but of the spirit. A spirit of showing the government its place 60 years after it did so in 1947. Was it needed? Yes sir, it was. When a Manish Tiwari who considers himself a hero of sorts makes bull statements without verifying facts and then comes out with a public apology to one old man, yes sir, it was needed. When a Kapil Sibal, the eternal swagger man, is over ruled by the prime minister of the country in the parliament to show who is the boss, yes sir, it was needed. When an ignorant Salman Khurshid, admits that government made 'errors in judgement' of public mood, yes sir, it was needed. Ok, the other viewpoint. Now, the merit of Lokpal on a standalone basis - In the current shape, is it good enough? No, it is not. Most intellectuals will agree with me. This is where the people like Nandan and other visionaries of our country need to sit down and bring changes to make it effective and give it teeth. The question is not whether the lokpal agitation is justified. Frankly, justified or not, the government is the proverbial servant and it needs to be in sync with public mood. But yes, putting sense into the process and not going by the mob mentality is the government's prerogative. They need to sit down, take the common man's draft and make it effective rather than questioning the intent of it. Rather than dragging its feet on something which it should've taken a stand on 40 years back, it should gracefully play through it, not brush it under the carpet calling it trash. What disgusts me is the fact that it took a nation-full of people to tell the government that it was sleeping. It took a billion people to tell the intellectuals that they are 'just-an-elected-body'. It took a billion people to tell them, it's been 2 weeks of fast now, you have no option, but to wake up! Why does the common man have to leave his office, leave his food to wake this slumberous monster everytime? I will still not say 'Main Anna Hazare hoon' but I would stand up and applaud the sense of belief he has given back to the spineless society of India. Agar main vote dena jaanta hoon, toh le lena bhi jaanta hoon. Sibal, Tiwari and Khurshid will not counter me on this. :)

What's a daddy?

What exactly is a daddy? The head of the family? Father of a child? Characteristically yes, but in reality, much more. Father is a term, societally. Through the heart, a lot more. A lot of us, including me, wondered, what the dad-to-be's role was during pregnancy and labor. My best friend, Google, helped me a lot. But still, the differing opinions of each single individual only added to the confusion. Apart from the questions about what the father's role is to be, there are also a multitude of questions on what is good for the baby and what is not. The questions, trust me, just tear you apart. And why? Because it's your baby and not somebody else's. Unborn still, yet you feel like questioning the doctor, the medication, doing a lot of research over the internet, even though your doc is trustworthy. Is the baby doing fine? Is the position right? Are so many scans ok for the baby? I had most of these questions like any other doting, worried dad-to-be. The bottomline was : We did not have prior knowledge. We were first time parents. All we relied on, was reviews and learnings on the internet(the internet was quite helpful though :) ) Now, my wife, Tina, is a voracious internet reader. She googled a lot and came to know of an institue which had their Lamaze classes in Hyderabad, India. We chose this particular one, Healthy Mother India. You can find them here. Lamaze classes are subtle exercises which both mom and dad can learn, they wont change things dramatically or exponentially, but can definitely help you weather the storm and make it appear like a manageable wind. That night, we decided, let's give it a shot, we'll learn some exercises, even if nothing else helps. So we took the leap, and what a life-changing leap it was. Through the classes, we learnt that exercises were a small part of the course, any exercise cannot last 6 weeks with a session for 3 hours every week. We hadn't signed up for gymming. It included counselling and the essence of what motherhood and fatherhood are like. Tips on what to do and how most of the 'what-not-to-dos' are just myths. Two weeks into it, we were now more clear in the mind, on what is a myth and what is hearsay. We started questioning, not just doctors who take undue advantage of the ignorance of the people on the subject, but our own traditional unfound beliefs as well. People always raised an eye-brow on why Tina continued to go to work even in her 8th and 9th month of pregnancy. We were now confident of what we were doing. This is very important, because as a parent, if you are not confident of what you are doing, then you will start believing whatever people around you say. Most of it, again would not be trustworthy. Knowledge is the key, and there are multiple ways of getting it. Internet, personal counselling, classes like the one we attended, all help. Specially in India, there would be lot of people telling you what to eat and what not to eat, where to go and what not to do. Advice is free like air! But, right advice? not free... you gotta earn it. Let me tell you, in the ninth month, Tina and I went to watch movies in normal multiplexes on weekends with good amount of crowd. We had dinner in restaurants. Tina continued her office till the day just before delivery. To be frank, the only 'to-do' thing is to be normal. Apart from this, the one question which will haunt most 'aware' parents(to the ignorant and muharat fans, this won't matter, enjoy the bliss of your ignorance) is whether a normal delivery can be ensured. This question was also stinging our minds. Fortunately for us, our instructor Dr. Vijaya Krishnan, put a lot of sanity in the thought process. We then questioned our OB/gynaec whom we had been consulting for a good long 6 months. The hospital was super reputed, so was the gynaec. For obvious reasons, I wouldn't name both of them, take this, they are considered to be really good and their C-section rates are close to 80%, I gave them a lot of benefit of doubt there. But for that benefit of doubt, I think they would cross 80% conveniently. Our OB would hardly recognize us among the scores of patients everyday. Slowly but surely, the practices of the corporate hospital were also putting us off. Every visit would entail a scan, new medicines, checkups and appointments for the next visit. It was like a completely well thought out business strategy. On the other hand, 3-4 weeks of Lamaze classes and counselling had a telling effect on our psyche, on how to deal with the problem on hand. No longer, were we just audience, we were the players, the game was ours, we had to play. We couldn't be allowed to just sit and watch, we had to take control. That's when we decided, it was time to quit. We quit the hospital we followed for months, we did not have any complaints against the doctor we visited, it was just the unfriendliness and the mechanization of the whole process which prompted us to cut off. Now, actively, we pursued the midwifery model of delivery, prenatal checks which revolved more around asking the mother how she felt in the past few days and analyzing each single detail in case there were any troubles. This was in stark contrast against the atmosphere of assembly line tests that we were used to. Each session lasted half to an hour and it revolved only around one thing - the Mother. The baby checks were minimal. Apart from the position and the heart rate check, as long as the mother was fine, we always concluded the baby was fine. Now, isn't this how mother nature meant it to be? Are any of the mammals around us subjected to the kind of assembly line business oriented checks prenatally? All through this, I was a part, not just a spectator. I was with her in the room always, not just a driver who drove her to the clinic. Clinic is the wrong word, its a natural birthing center. Through the thick and thin, like they say, in illness and health, I was with her, every checkup, every visit... noting every detail of the supplements she needed, every food which would help her. I asked her, is there something else I could do? She said, is there something else I could ask for? This is all. Those are the kind of words which made my day everyday! The day was nearing... we waited with bated breath. She broke her bag of waters on the morning of 3rd August. Did we panic? Yes. Did the education help us? A big yes, inspite of the panic, we knew what to do. Note the color and the texture and call Vijaya :) That's what we did, the support was tremendous, 6 in the morning, she was on the phone asking Tina the details she needed. We went for an intermediary check that afternoon to the birthing center. All was well, but it could happen anytime, with this result we drove back home. That night the contractions started, I panicked again... but that's the thing. You would anyway panic, because you are human and it concerns you... but few minutes into it, sanity prevailed. I got a diary out, started timing the contractions. It was 930 PM on the 3rd of August. They progressed well, started occurring more frequently and for longer durations. We called Vijaya again, she just asked us to keep timing them and informing her about it every few hours. I was thankful for that kind of support in the midnight. It was about 230 AM on 4th August, when I thought that writing the timings of the contractions needed some innovation. I googled a bit and found the contraction timer. For all you people reading this, you can find it here. It's an easy to use tool. All you have to do is press a Start/Stop button and it gives you the exact timings to milliseconds and also tells you the time between contractions. :) Wow, some good innovation! Next morning, 4th of August at about 5 AM, Vijaya called us to the birthing center. Armed with our delivery bag, we set out, the roads were empty... drive was smooth. All through the drive I just remembered one thing I learnt, "Babies don't fly out" Even if there was traffic, they would give you a cool 3-4 hours time so that you reach your care provider. So all you dads worried about the travel time to the care provider, relax. It happens only in movies! And if its a bluemoon and it happens with you in the car, then whoa.. you are a movie star! The contractions kept getting stronger, by now, I was moving like a trained mid...maybe husband :D Just stayed with her, held her, wherever she needed help, helped her with various positions. Vijaya and Marianne, the two docs who helped us through the whole thing stood there like pillars who gave strength to the whole structure to stand. They kept analyzing how and when what was happening, the heartrate of the baby every 15 mins. They told us positions we hadn't heard about in the classes too. It was on the job learning. I held Tina right through it. It was a long long labor. But with it I saw the beauty of all of it. Nothing is left to chance, nothing is left unplanned by the nature. Each single contraction, each single pain produces hormones which release endorphins which act like pain killers and help you weather the process. The birthing process is so beautifully crafted in a way that you cannot imagine, its a process that will teach you that no amount of science can replicate such a deeply intricate process. Each step in itself is a marvel. Step 1 releases a hormone that leads to Step 2, Step 2 releases another which leads to step 3. You can only marvel at all this as a Dad, simply because your body is not capable of this. The female body is. I was astounded, a little scared to see the lengths to which Tina was able to pull it off, she grunted like a beast, possessed, to deliver her baby. This is the nature's path breaking moment which comes in every mother's life, and I would plead to all the ladies, let it come the way it is meant to come. Do not tamper, unless there is some complication you are going through. After a long labor and pushing using multiple positions, the angel surfaced. Surfaced at 1540 India time, 4th of August, 2011. Tired after a lot of work, the baby looked a little worn out too :) But a pat on her back and she screamed... screamed like there was no tomorrow. And I, I just stood there standing. I stood standing without a single word escaping my lips. My eyes were not moist, they were wet. I had just experienced the spectacle, the birth of my daughter. Words failed me, I thanked God and nature for what they built into a small square foot of the mother's body. I thanked God and nature for the intricate processes which they built, processes which are foolproof, processes which never had to go through a CmmI or an ISO rating. I thanked Vijaya and Marianne for all their experience and support. But yet, I just stood there standing. What's a dad anyway? Nothing much, but he can support. Support that his baby will call him by a name tomorrow : 'Papa'. Love to my baby Advika, my wife Tina(or Shiva as she is officially known), to my parents and my care providers Vijaya and Marianne without whom it wouldn't have been possible.