Ranthambhore - a trip report

WARNING : The pictures are copyrighted and are Akshay Kakkar's property. You will be prosecuted for copying the images. It was the beginning of May, 2012. It had been really long since I went out for a vacation. The weather wasn't encouraging in the least. An idea popped in my mind which I made public. Ranthambhore National Park. My wifey's reaction : Are you crazy? Rajasthan in May? My dad/mom said : Rajasthan in May would be 45 degrees. I scratched my head in desperation. I knew tigers would be easy to spot in summer. But an Indian summer came with its own maladies. But then my earlier trips to Jim Corbett National Park and Kanha National Park were either in winter or wet seasons. I stayed bullish and the rest followed. My wife jumped at the idea of clubbing Ranthambhore with Agra. I had a few things to take care of. My 9 month old daughter might not take too well the sweltering heat and dust of the forest. But we decided to cross the bridge when we reach it. Determined we started, with another couple from work for company. We had a stopover at Agra and then boarded Awadh express to reach Sawai Madhopur. Sawai Madhopur is the nearest decent rail head to Ranthambhore forest. We put up at a place called Ranthambhore Bagh. It was a well kept place. Nothing extravagant, but they stuck to the basics and did well on that front. They had decent rooms with ACs that worked well, that's the only thing which you need in that kind of season. The staff was good, a couple of them at the dining area overzealous.. so much that you would wonder when they would ask for a tip. :) However they have a box at their reception which accepts common tipping and has "No Individual tips please" written in big letters. Such things leave a smile on your face. Ranthambhore bagh sure was pricey and may not live upto the price tag(especially the safari fares which are insane), but they do a good job and I would definitely recommend them. The food was a tad bland than the Indian taste bud's expectation, but that's welcome in the heat and also considering that the place is frequented by foreigners round the year. And if you want to make friends 'in the circle', then this is the place to be.. you would know what I meant by that ;-). Anyway, I had no such aspirations! I was getting impatient to have the first safari. We had hired a special tracker guide to help us through the safaris. He was waiting for us on the dot. The main gate of the park was quite far away. Then there was a wait of about 10 minutes on the gate for verification. We were assigned Route # 6. The routes in Ranthambhore are assigned by some kind of a lottery system. Done with the formalities, we were on our way through the deciduous forests of Rajasthan. We drove for long with nothing but dried foliage and trees without leaves on either side of us. The weather was exceedingly unbearable, but the feeling that you get in the wild is unparalleled. That kept us going. We drove and drove and finally came across a group of peacocks. It was like oasis in desert. I changed lenses quickly and clicked to my heart's fill. We left the place and again had a long trip, quite uneventful till we reached a pond on our way back. It looked like a small pool of water... there was a rest house there, so we were allowed to get down from the jeep. The guide said he'll have some water and be back in 5 minutes but asked us not to go near the pond since it had crocs. I didn't believe him. There was a few deers just grazing lazily, until I saw two crocodiles closing in near the banks. They hastily disappeared into the water again and reappeared in a few minutes. This game went on for quite a while, the deer all the while unmindful of the surroundings. The guide then signalled to me that we had to leave, since it was getting dark. Now, I don't know if at all the crocs were interested in the deer or just passing their time, but I reluctantly had to leave. We then went back to the resort. The dinner was quite nice, served in a neat setting.They serve dinner in the lawns of the resort with air coolers all around. The food tasted much better because we were so tired. Some pictures from day 1 : Day-2 We had a quick breakfast. Our guide Rajkumar, an affable fellow, was ready to take us for the next safari. I asked him "Which route are you taking us on today?" "Sir, route # 2", he replied. I was happy, this was supposed to be a picturesque route. This belonged to the legendary tigress Machli. She is also called lady of the lakes, a term coined because of the 3 lakes in her territory. She is the oldest and most famous tigress of Ranthambhore. However she is about 15 years old now and in the fag end of her life. Sadly, 3 of her canines are broken and she cannot hunt, so forest officers offer her bait to keep the most glorious member of the forest alive. A couple of years ago, her own daughter, Sharmili : codenamed T-17, had a territorial fight with Machli and the power went in the youths favour. Machli was driven out of her territory and T-17 took over the beautiful area with the lakes. Machli now lives in a very small area adjoining the old territory. Coming back to the safari, we entered the gates and I had a gut feeling that wide angle lenses may not help. I had to have a tele-photo on. This was because of my supersition of wearing a white T-shirt. I had worn a white Tee on earlier occasions in Corbett and Kanha too and each time I saw the king. So I opened my camera bag to get the lens out and just as I was doing that, Rajkumar, our guide said..."Tiger hoga, nahi toh itne ye log khade nahi hote" (It must be a tiger, else there would be no crowd). There was one jeep already stationed there, we rushed at 60 kmph and reached the spot, I was changing my lens in that din and suddenly, we all went blank. Sharmili, daughter of Machli, T-17 was lying there, resting in front of our eyes, maybe about 7-10 feet away. She was resting in a old dilapidated structure. We were delighted to see her in the first 5 minutes of our safari. Rajkumar had told us that the first hour and the last hour are crucial and so was it. We waited, clicked to our heart's fill and moved on happy and content. Suddenly the whole jungle seemed green because you just had a glimpse of the majestic cat. Everything looked positive. Even though I am a wildlife lover and I don't plan my trips just to see tigers, but still when they come in front of you, its something else. Filming a wild tiger and the thrill and passion associated with it can be understood only by someone who has done it. My day was made. Some pictures : The day-2 morning safari was wonderful. The afternoon safari now beckoned us after a good lunch. Wifey was happy that she saw a tiger and decided against going for the afternoon safari because of the extreme weather and dust in the forest. So it was just me and the other couple we went with for our vacation. We were discussing that now that we had seen the king, we'll keep an eye for other wildlife and birds. Birds and other wildlife in Ranthambhore are not as varied as in Corbett or Kanha, but it's still a dream that'll make your day. We waited by a baby croc to click and then saw a white breasted kingfisher. At another spot where we waited for a tiger, a couple of affable tree-pies came and gave us company. The beauty of the terrain was compelling and told us how these creatures had to strive to live through. They fight for their food each single time they are hungry and don't get rice or wheat at 30 rupees a kilo. Nature has it's own way of teaching lessons, however we have come too far from it. We continued from there and on the way back, we were hurtling at roughly 60 kilometres an hour when suddenly my friend spotted a jeep standing at the edge of a cliff. We reversed, the guide said again "It definitely must be a tiger, you possess great eyes, we would have missed this". My friend silently looked at me and smiled! And what we saw from there was nothing short of history. A full bodied, young tigress, in all it's glory stretching, walking and showing us its curves from all angles was about 40 feet from us. Good that I had my tele lens on. I immediately started clicking, our luck was smiling away on us today, two tigers in 2 safaris. She was T-41, also Machli's daughter but from a different male. She left us spell bound. Here is a Full HD video of her. Day-3 After an eventful second day, we set out for day-3. This trip was on the most beautiful stretch of Ranthambhore. The lakes were humungous and beautiful. It was essentially a bird-day. We spotted plenty of painted storks, black drongos, black headed Ibis, kingfishers etc. We even spotted a woodpecker and a rare Eurasian thick knee. Picture While coming out on the final day, we even encountered a joke! Check the picture on the left. We bade good bye to Ranthambhore after a very eventful trip.Such trips re-energize me from time to time. Though the weather was unbearable, the beauty of wildlife more than made up for it. Long live the Indian tiger. I am sure they will survive to show their beauty to another generation.

Who's that? Is that God? No it's Sachin

Today I ran into a young opinionated guy at my work, who accidentally drew me into a discussion on my hero. Sachin Tendulkar, ladies and gentlemen, needs no introduction. A simple google search for his name would yield 36 million results. Roger Federer returns 35 million results. So my friends not in the know of cricket would know what they are reading about. Ok, to cut a long story short, there have been a lot of discussions in the last month about Sachin Tendulkar hanging up his boots. The critics, some from the famed cricketing world and some lame(like the bubbly young stag I ran into at work today), are demanding his head on basis of non-performance. I want to write an open letter to them and let the ghost to rest for the time being. So here goes : Dear Sachin detractor, Taking into consideration, your frustrations & constant bickering on social platforms, on media, both TV & print, I want to discuss with you the logic of your superfluous arguments. 1. You want Sachin to leave because he hasn't performed in Australia. May I remind you, most of you were wetting your panties when he played in Australia first. He just had his first ODI tour after the World cup last year. In the previous year, he has played 0 ODIs, so the bad performance of the last 5 ODIs is isolated. This isn't in line with your constant ranting about prolonged non-performance. In his last outing in the world cup, he was the second highest scorer of the tournament, coming second only by 18 runs. It's time you re-looked your allegations. 2. You think young talent in India is blocked of opportunity because Sachin is hanging on to his spot. Well, let's get it straight, straight away. He isn't blocking anyone's slot. Currently, there is no one who is able to topple him and take his place. When he was 16, he came like a lightening and blazed his way into the team. He played at #6 for India, his performances spoke for him & made it to the opening slot. He had no godfathers like current dumb & non performing players like Ravindra Jadeja have in MS. Dhoni. And trust me, I am completely in my senses & my heart isn't taking precedence over my brain when I say this : Who in Indian cricket can replace SRT even with his current form? And I am referring to youngsters. You cannot give a chance to youngsters just because they are young. They also need to perform. Jadeja, Raina, Rohit Sharma have been given umpteen chances, none of them have performed. This way, I am beginning to fancy my chances of getting into the Indian team. Come on, for God's sake. If you give me 20 chances, I can at least do better than Rohit Sharma. 3. You need to groom a team for 2015, so get Sachin out What nonsense? He has played international cricket for 23 years now. For God's sake can 20 odd year people stop advising him? In just his last tournament he was the second highest run scorer in the world in ODI cricket. And just 5 ODIs later, you say, he is old? Mind you, if you need to groom a team, then take Gambhir, Sehwag, Zaheer, Irfaan, Yousouf & MSD out too. They too might not be around till then. What you would be left with is a bunch of sitting ducks who would go and get killed on the pitch. Then people would say, there is no experience to guide them. I am done with people like you. If you have the stats to prove, call me, we'll discuss, else keep your pie-holes shut. Now, coming to the so-called established greats who are calling for his head. We'll start with this gentleman Kapil Dev. Picture He says, Sachin should have retired after the world cup. My question to him is : Why the hell? He was comfortable, his body was responding well, he felt like playing more, he was the second highest scorer in the world cup. Why should he have retired? And look who's talking? KD, I know you were one of the best 'in your era'. You reached the landmark of 400 test wickets in 1992. Since then, you huffed and puffed for 3 long painful years to reach this personal milestone. You took 34 wickets in 3 years. Harbhajan Singh took 31 in one series in 2001. The whole team had to offer you crutches to cross the finish line. Azharuddin had to instruct Kumble to bowl outside the leg stump in the final match so that you could take your 434th victim. You were in the team as an all-rounder, forget a 100, you did not score a fifty in your last 105 matches. You prolonged your non-performance for 3 years and now you have developed the balls to question another great who had offered his unflinching support to his country for 23 years. Agreed, you were great, you were up there & now you are nowhere. The need to grab eyeballs has gotten better of you. You are the Rakhi Sawant of cricket. I feel bad desecrating you, but you asked for it. Now, the next offender: Sanjay Manjrekar Ranthambhore - a trip report 5/13/2012 54 Comments WARNING : The pictures are copyrighted and are Akshay Kakkar's property. You will be prosecuted for copying the images. It was the beginning of May, 2012. It had been really long since I went out for a vacation. The weather wasn't encouraging in the least. An idea popped in my mind which I made public. Ranthambhore National Park. My wifey's reaction : Are you crazy? Rajasthan in May? My dad/mom said : Rajasthan in May would be 45 degrees. I scratched my head in desperation. I knew tigers would be easy to spot in summer. But an Indian summer came with its own maladies. Read More 54 Comments A 100 100s, a dream fulfilled, a nation content 3/16/2012 4 Comments The day has come. History has once again been made. He is the superman from India. The man of the century. The date : 16th March, 2012. The name : Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. The record : A 100 international 100s. Till yesterday, there were illiterates having an opinion on Sachin Tendulkar. People were advising him on how his future should be handled. Spare a thought gentlemen, he has spent 23 years in this profession and is by far the most unparalleled icon the world has ever produced. Today, the ever so incorrigible Nasser Hussain, said he should be placed above Sir Don Bradman for there is no doubt that when it comes to longevity, consistency & brilliance, even the Don could not come close. The country has been in a delirium since 5 pm today. Festivals being celebrated, sweets distributed across the nation. The same media houses , the same cricket illiterates who asked for his head till yesterday come up with nothing else on them but Sachin. There are aartis being performed on the news channels. Bloody hypocrites. Kapil Dev(please refer to my previous blog post), pops up on the TV today, sticks out his head & says, "Sachin is a legend, looking at him, I want him to play, to continue & maybe score 15 more." What an irony! But what I witnessed today, isn't something I would like to dampen with the pedestrian opinions of media houses. I do not have a memory of Sachin Tendulkar when he played first in 1989. I was too young to assimilate the genius of the man then. The first I saw of him was 1993 world cup, where he made a couple of 50s. I liked his name then. The sound of Ten-dul-kar felt nice. Through the next 6 years, he became not just mine, but the country's obsession. The 'desert storm' innings is a part of the folklore now. 15 years down the line, I am going to, like millions of others, tell my kid : "Hey look, you wanna know what dedication, hardwork & patriotism is? Watch this.. the desert storm...on youtube(provided google doesn't go bust by then)" His ferocity for runs at 39 is something which people have at 23. His popularity is such that Shah Rukh Khan would be embarrassed if he and Sachin ever shared the stage. Despite all this, he chooses to be mum, polite & humble all the time. Through the 23 years, people have taunted him, ridiculed and slighted him with terms like 'Endulkar', he has remained the same humble, mellow person. Everytime he replied, but only with his bat. Not once in his 23 years did I ever hear him using expletives or retorting angrily to the raucous media. The endulkar was predicted by the media and cricket pundits in 1996. Some of those people must be in their graves by now. Sachin has continued 16 years after that and mind you, like a star. Myth People come up with all kinds of false statistics saying that whenever he scores a ton, India loses. Reality Out of his 49 ODI 100s till date, India has won 33, lost 14, drawn 1, no result 1. The true measure of his following is illustrated by the below video. This was shot at my workplace today. Despite hectic work, people chose to stop, pause & come to watch their hero. They came to a place where they would otherwise not go to. We went to the drivers' retiring room in the multi-level-parking-lot. That's the only place a television is available. The small room was filled to capacity. People trickled in when Sachin reached 50 and stayed on exactly till he got out. Even the 'helicopter baba' in the slog overs couldn't keep the crowd on. People left as soon as Sachin got out. Check out the feverish adulation that this man got. Scroll to 2 mins & 59 seconds directly because this video isn't particularly a short one. Please excuse the poor quality of the video and the bad angles. Shooting through the crowd was a challenge. A 100 100s and look at his reaction in HD now. Muted, satisfied and content. His trademark 'look-to-the-sky' also a part of it. Don't miss the uncharacteristic tap on his helmet, showing something to the dressing room. Check the video at 0:23 seconds for this. He is almost saying, this milestone is for an Indian to achieve (tapping the helmet pointing to the Indian flag). His interview after reaching the milesone. It's true when they say that you don't realize a person's worth till he is long gone. But this man isn't yet gone. He is amidst us. We live the spectacle every time he comes on field. We watch him in awe, we adore him, we can't get enough of him. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar, you have achieved the unthinkable. Live on. Rock on. 4 Comments Who's that? Is that God? No it's Sachin 3/7/2012 11 Comments Today I ran into a young opinionated guy at my work, who accidentally drew me into a discussion on my hero. Sachin Tendulkar, ladies and gentlemen, needs no introduction. A simple google search for his name would yield 36 million results. Roger Federer returns 35 million results. So my friends not in the know of cricket would know what they are reading about. Ok, to cut a long story short, there have been a lot of discussions in the last month about Sachin Tendulkar hanging up his boots. The critics, some from the famed cricketing world and some lame(like the bubbly young stag I ran into at work today), are demanding his head on basis of non-performance. I want to write an open letter to them and let the ghost to rest for the time being. So here goes : Dear Sachin detractor, Taking into consideration, your frustrations & constant bickering on social platforms, on media, both TV & print, I want to discuss with you the logic of your superfluous arguments. 1. You want Sachin to leave because he hasn't performed in Australia. May I remind you, most of you were wetting your panties when he played in Australia first. He just had his first ODI tour after the World cup last year. In the previous year, he has played 0 ODIs, so the bad performance of the last 5 ODIs is isolated. This isn't in line with your constant ranting about prolonged non-performance. In his last outing in the world cup, he was the second highest scorer of the tournament, coming second only by 18 runs. It's time you re-looked your allegations. 2. You think young talent in India is blocked of opportunity because Sachin is hanging on to his spot. Well, let's get it straight, straight away. He isn't blocking anyone's slot. Currently, there is no one who is able to topple him and take his place. When he was 16, he came like a lightening and blazed his way into the team. He played at #6 for India, his performances spoke for him & made it to the opening slot. He had no godfathers like current dumb & non performing players like Ravindra Jadeja have in MS. Dhoni. And trust me, I am completely in my senses & my heart isn't taking precedence over my brain when I say this : Who in Indian cricket can replace SRT even with his current form? And I am referring to youngsters. You cannot give a chance to youngsters just because they are young. They also need to perform. Jadeja, Raina, Rohit Sharma have been given umpteen chances, none of them have performed. This way, I am beginning to fancy my chances of getting into the Indian team. Come on, for God's sake. If you give me 20 chances, I can at least do better than Rohit Sharma. 3. You need to groom a team for 2015, so get Sachin out What nonsense? He has played international cricket for 23 years now. For God's sake can 20 odd year people stop advising him? In just his last tournament he was the second highest run scorer in the world in ODI cricket. And just 5 ODIs later, you say, he is old? Mind you, if you need to groom a team, then take Gambhir, Sehwag, Zaheer, Irfaan, Yousouf & MSD out too. They too might not be around till then. What you would be left with is a bunch of sitting ducks who would go and get killed on the pitch. Then people would say, there is no experience to guide them. I am done with people like you. If you have the stats to prove, call me, we'll discuss, else keep your pie-holes shut. Now, coming to the so-called established greats who are calling for his head. We'll start with this gentleman Kapil Dev. Picture He says, Sachin should have retired after the world cup. My question to him is : Why the hell? He was comfortable, his body was responding well, he felt like playing more, he was the second highest scorer in the world cup. Why should he have retired? And look who's talking? KD, I know you were one of the best 'in your era'. You reached the landmark of 400 test wickets in 1992. Since then, you huffed and puffed for 3 long painful years to reach this personal milestone. You took 34 wickets in 3 years. Harbhajan Singh took 31 in one series in 2001. The whole team had to offer you crutches to cross the finish line. Azharuddin had to instruct Kumble to bowl outside the leg stump in the final match so that you could take your 434th victim. You were in the team as an all-rounder, forget a 100, you did not score a fifty in your last 105 matches. You prolonged your non-performance for 3 years and now you have developed the balls to question another great who had offered his unflinching support to his country for 23 years. Agreed, you were great, you were up there & now you are nowhere. The need to grab eyeballs has gotten better of you. You are the Rakhi Sawant of cricket. I feel bad desecrating you, but you asked for it. Now, the next offender: Sanjay Manjrekar Picture He has been whining since 4 years now about Sachin's form and every year he gets a slap on his face from Sachin's bat. I think it is blasphemous even to compare him with Sachin. Have a look at his stats. It's a joke to even compare them Mat Inns NO Runs HS Ave BF SR 100 50 4s 6s Ct St Tests 37 61 6 2043 218 37.14 5282 38.67 4 9 220 1 25 1 ODIs 74 70 10 1994 105 33.23 3101 64.30 1 15 99 10 23 0 He has scored 5 hundreds all his life, tests + ODIs. Sachin scored 9 in 1998 alone. Sachin has scored 99 hundreds in all. Stack up his 8000 runs against Sachin Tendulkar's 33000 runs & you'll know why the dogs bark. One last offender, this time from down under. Ian Chappell. He too is of the Manjrekar league, has been whining for a long while now. Again, I will spare myself the pain. Check out his stats : Mat Inns NO Runs HS Ave BF SR 100 50 4s 6s Ct St Tests 75 136 10 5345 196 42.42 14 26 15 105 0 ODIs 16 16 2 673 86 48.07 874 77.00 0 8 74 7 5 0 At best, he is an average Australian player, let alone international. There is one thing common in the above people. They make a living by desecrating Sachin Tendulkar. To me, Sachin Tendulkar is the man who captured the imagination of a nation worth a billion people. He became the hero when there was poverty and lawlessness all around. People needed a hero. He stood up. He could bind India like nothing could. The country came to a standstill every time he walked out to bat. They would turn off their TV sets once he got out. He has been the one for 23 years. In his twilight, he at least deserves a rational farewell. He is not the one who will hang around just because he is making money. He has had enough of it all his life. He was the one who stood up and said, I will not play T20 for India, because it's a youngsters game and I don't fit in. Be rest assured, he won't rob anyone of his place in the team. At least stop being ungrateful bastards, and give him his due right to decide his retirement. We are a selfish lot, and I am ashamed. The end for him may not be far ahead, but a true human, a true sports person & a great role model deserves better from a selfish nation. I had this status message on FB when he made his 50th test ton : "I won't bow specially for this one, because I have been in that position since 1989". All respect to you sir. Regards, A Sachin Tendulkar fan.

Chetan Bhankas. A sham or pure dung?

Ok, so here's the deal. No crap. What do you get out of the below two pictures? If you find something common, mail me. I owe you 50 bucks for possessing common sense. If not, then abuse me in the comments section(you will, by the time you finish reading this). Picture Picture The first picture is of a book which released a week ago. The author : A nondescript human, an under-performer, an abusive and arrogant player called Shoaib Akhtar. The second picture is of a book which releases today. The author : An acclaimed nursery rhymes author whose signature is more illegible than my doctor's RX prescription. SA(hereafter for Shoaib Akhtar) and CB(Chetan Bhankas) both wanted to release books. Both had faded out of public memory, both did not command any premium. Both needed to be a Rakhi Sawant to be able to grab eyeballs. SA said 'Sachin-Oh-My-God-Tendulkar' was afraid of him and that his legs shivered when he bowled to him. Though the whole world laughed him off and his own countrymen scoffed at him, he got what he wanted. Attention. Now it was CB's turn. He couldn't mock at Sachin because there wasn't anything in common. So he carefully chooses a sentence out of a whole speech which emphasized more on the way IIT selection pattern should change to make a point for himself. Today NDTV's Sagarika Ghose interviews him and he turns a cat. I quote : Sagarika Ghose: But do you regret what you said about Mr Narayana Murthy and Infosys? Chetan Bhagat: No, not really. I mean I wanted to, my point is very valid. And in fact, I was speaking to the Infosys people and they have agreed that, you know, why bring the students in to it. Why judge the students? It may even be true that he has something he feels about the quality of the students. But, it's very high-handed. Same way, when I call Infosys a body shop it's high-handed. Unquote. Where is all your bravado? Your swagger? Mr Bhankas? Today you are suggesting that it was a mere tit for tat? Let me tell you, you have no tit and don't have any gut to tat if at all there was a tit. You are the same guy, right? The one who cried like a baby all over the media when your name did not appear in the credits of 3-idiots? Your conflicting views in the media for 2 full days held the nation to a big soap opera. It was only after Aamir Khan clarifed that a water tight contract was signed on this, and that you had got what you deserved, did you shut your pie-hole. A lot of like thinkers have chosen to be soft on you, but I am extreme right wing. If you say, "I think it's like something ingrained in us. If someone takes an attack on your college, you've got to defend it. Won't you? " I say, I have an equal right to decimate you my dear rhyme writer. Bodyshop is a term coined by the hegemonistic Britons and Americans who like jingoism about India because they just aren't capable of securing jobs for the amount that we do. Bodyshop is a fictional term for the Indian IT industry. Bodyshop is something which is far from the reality of a $7.25 billion company. Least of all, if bodyshop is the company you are talking about, then you are cheap unsold meat. I have had the horror and pain of reading just one book of yours on the call centre. I haven't read a more frivolous, shallow and comic book like material anywhere else. The supplementary English text book of my 7th grade (not the main English text book) had more absorbing stuff. I moved with the horses when I read the Trojan war in the 6th grade.. but 20 years later, I slept when I read about the call centre. That book also had a disastrous movie made on it.. but that's for another day. The cry baby was set right by Aamir Khan in 2009 and I am thankful for that. May God bless Aamir Khan. Now coming to your accusations about the bodyshop. Uncle CB, I would invite you for a day to come and do the work. I would urge you to do this because only then would you realize how difficult it is to earn a single dollar from bargaining clients who would hunt you down like wolves. I challenge you, work with me, earn a dollar for my project, and I would advertise all your comic books for the rest of your life. It's easy to be like Rakhi Sawant, but not Mr. Murthy. A person who has had a modest beginning and having risen to where he has, commands a lot more than you do uncle. You would never get written about in any business column of any newspaper. That's because you never earn for others. He does, his brand does. Next time, when you launch a book, make sure that you go to malls and multiplexes to advertise your version of crap well so that you are able to sell it. Just don't mess with the mindset of an industry you have no clue about or should I say never could be a part of. Stay in your den and I will stay in mine. Mail me, if you need clarifications.

Bringing the paunchy lion back from fat to fit!

Did you ever try comparing the Homo sapien with Panthera Leo? The commonalities could be interesting. Men are just like lions. Women, lionesses. 1. Lions and lionesses are born similar. Ditto men and women. 2. Lions build more muscular mass and heft. Lionesses are more gracious and beautiful. Ditto men and women 3. Lions have ugly manes, lionesses look suave without body hair. Ditto men and women(minus the metrosexual, chest shaving pseudo andro). 4. Lions hunt hard till they achieve success. Success would mean skills of hunting and a companion. That’s the end for them. Lionesses continue to do the good work, earning bread, doing the daily jobs while the lazy lions look around, sleep and gaze at trees. Sometimes when they spot a buffalo and just look at the lioness nodding their head, the lioness does the rest. Sometimes they look at trees and bees coyly, not because they have nothing to do, but because they are too lazy to do anything but look. And believe me, that’s all they do during the day. They look at stationary objects till they feel hungry, and once the hunger beckons, they still look, but this time at the lioness. If looking involved a few tasks, like going to the nearby shelf, picking up your eyes, putting them on and then looking, they would happily skip looking too. Probably then the only thing they would do is breathe! Now all this translates into a lot for the working lady of the pride, but look at what it does.. It keeps her fit and fighting. Not an ounce of extra flab anywhere on her body. She looks radiant golden and not muddy, dirty brown like her companion. Now, how many of us men don’t feel like lions? Be frank, don’t say that I do a lot of work or don’t dismiss this thought as a figment of my imagination. There is a substantial population of men who are just like lions. I am the flag bearer of this genre of laziness. I like sleeping, dozing off when I have nothing to do, dozing off even when I have something to do. If there is something which can be done right away, we find ways to postpone it. If we lose our way while driving, and the lady asks us to ask for directions, we just don’t do it. We are men .. we don’t ask for directions. Have you seen a lion asking other lions or a deer, “ Hey deer, do you know which way the lake is?” On a Friday I make plans, these are the 5 things to do this weekend. Come Saturday, I postpone 3 to Sunday and keep 2 for Saturday afternoon. Saturday, 12 pm the hunger pangs strike, ok.. what would the lion do in this circumstance? Look at the lady of the house. After a sumptuous meal, look at the walls, because there are no trees and bees in my house.. loiter a bit and then.. boom.. fall asleep. A loud noise would awaken me at 6 pm on Saturday… television is the next target. At 9 pm, the lazy lion realizes that the 2 tasks aren’t done, so they too get pushed to Sunday. The cycle repeats on Sunday too. Probably this is why the lion puts on so much weight! Probably this is why the lion becomes paunchy and the lioness is fighting fit! Sadly, this is the one thing the lion/me find difficult to quit!! The inertia of laziness. I can fight extreme temperatures I can fight vices I can fight even the Romans But I can't fight the battle of the bulging paunch! :) Now, any lady reading this would think we are losers. Really lazy losers. But in our defence, we are not . We are like any other important member of the family. The lion isn’t overrated. It’s not the head of the pride for nothing. He keeps the pride protected. His bulk helps him in that. :P He is also a quick thinker. Most strategies of group hunting are formulated by him and followed by the ladies. He doesn’t ask for directions, but give him 10 minutes and he’ll figure out a way to reach the water. All he cannot do is control his weight :( Much to his dislike about taking instructions, if someone has some good tips, please duly help the bulky lion :P PS : This is a fun post, don’t read too much into it! I am still not way above the prescribed BMI!! It’s been 2 days since I chucked the lift, this post is just in continuation of this effort!

Lokpal and the flood waters

The country has witnessed the brouhaha over Lokpal bill over the last few months. Reaching a fever pitch, it finally ended yesterday with the civil society of India claiming victory. But was it a victory? Yes and no. I have two views and people would say I am running with the hare and hunting with the hounds! But delve a little deeper and you would find the answer yourself. There is a set of people who have criticized Anna's way of holding the parliament to ransom and also the Jan lokpal bill itself. There is a huge chunk on the other side cheering the Jan lokpal. They outnumber the ratios with 1 : maybe a million. Very eminent visionaries have questioned the creation of another law and also Anna's way. Check out Nandan Nilekani's interview with Shekhar Gupta : Now my take 1 : While all this is right, while all this is intellectual, while all this is super looking on a paper in front of the standing committee, the supreme policy making body of the largest democracy of the world, it also should be understood and remembered that somewhere it is the government speaking. Nandan, 4 years back, talked of a lacklusture government not providing support to the city infrastructure of Bangalore. He talked of how he, as a part of a citizen charter took up various initiatives and how still work on the elevated expressway never went smoothly even after being in the running for years together. Now, wasn't that flyover delay a concern of a citizen and this speech a view of the government? With utmost respect for the reverence I have for him, I would like to ask him, one small question : The example being talked about in the interview of Public Distribution System being faulty, is again just a very small example. Yes, it is a problem, but not the only problem. As a citizen of this country, I faced a problem in getting my passport issued, how is Aadhaar or any other scheme by the government going to help me? Anna's talk of including lower bureaucracy may or may not help me, but certainly it will create the fear of law, certainly I would have an option to fallback on. Today, the police verification guy demands money, when the passport comes, the postman demands money. If I refuse to co-operate, then I am singled out by the entire system and bureaucracy and tortured till I comply. Which step has the government taken in 60 years of independence to solve my problems? This brings me to the title of this post. Flood waters! Flood waters of Mumbai which ravaged the city again today. Every damn year, the commercial capital is inundated as if it is some remote village. Roads become rivers, trains stop, common men die. I myself witnessed this in 2007 and came back home neck deep in the waters. Read my harrowing experience of 2007 here. Four years since, the government has promised to make Mumbai Shanghai, shared plans with the public about how the drainage is being overhauled, on paper. Every year the floods come, the government makes promises and gets away with the India shining bonhomie. In a way, Lokpal bill fiasco isn't just about the bill alone, it is a vent to the immense public anger, the release of the pent up energy, frustrated energy. What systems are we talking about? About systems which have not passed the Lokpal bill even 40 years since its first introduction? Critics would slam me, citing that freewill ofthe parliament is being questioned. What about the freewill of the 1000 million people? Nobody is saying Lokpal is the panacea. Yet it is a beginning. Is it not time even after 60 years to get out of the mentality of pulling down the man who makes an attempt? Who says Anna is the be all and end all. All I say is that Anna has made a beginning, the bill will still go to the parliament, its not as if it becomes a law circumventing the parliament. The lower bureaucracy works this way, it needs to be hauled up. Even Nandan would agree, a software developer doesn't work without a team lead and a team lead doesn't work without a manager. A police constable doesn't work without a sub inspector and a sub inspector doesn't work without an inspector. If all this policing wasn't needed, then probably IT companies could do by hiring freshers alone and police could do by hiring constables alone. Think about it! Now take 2 : By now, most of you would think I am a blind Anna supporter! Yeah I am, not of Anna, but of the spirit. A spirit of showing the government its place 60 years after it did so in 1947. Was it needed? Yes sir, it was. When a Manish Tiwari who considers himself a hero of sorts makes bull statements without verifying facts and then comes out with a public apology to one old man, yes sir, it was needed. When a Kapil Sibal, the eternal swagger man, is over ruled by the prime minister of the country in the parliament to show who is the boss, yes sir, it was needed. When an ignorant Salman Khurshid, admits that government made 'errors in judgement' of public mood, yes sir, it was needed. Ok, the other viewpoint. Now, the merit of Lokpal on a standalone basis - In the current shape, is it good enough? No, it is not. Most intellectuals will agree with me. This is where the people like Nandan and other visionaries of our country need to sit down and bring changes to make it effective and give it teeth. The question is not whether the lokpal agitation is justified. Frankly, justified or not, the government is the proverbial servant and it needs to be in sync with public mood. But yes, putting sense into the process and not going by the mob mentality is the government's prerogative. They need to sit down, take the common man's draft and make it effective rather than questioning the intent of it. Rather than dragging its feet on something which it should've taken a stand on 40 years back, it should gracefully play through it, not brush it under the carpet calling it trash. What disgusts me is the fact that it took a nation-full of people to tell the government that it was sleeping. It took a billion people to tell the intellectuals that they are 'just-an-elected-body'. It took a billion people to tell them, it's been 2 weeks of fast now, you have no option, but to wake up! Why does the common man have to leave his office, leave his food to wake this slumberous monster everytime? I will still not say 'Main Anna Hazare hoon' but I would stand up and applaud the sense of belief he has given back to the spineless society of India. Agar main vote dena jaanta hoon, toh le lena bhi jaanta hoon. Sibal, Tiwari and Khurshid will not counter me on this. :)

What's a daddy?

What exactly is a daddy? The head of the family? Father of a child? Characteristically yes, but in reality, much more. Father is a term, societally. Through the heart, a lot more. A lot of us, including me, wondered, what the dad-to-be's role was during pregnancy and labor. My best friend, Google, helped me a lot. But still, the differing opinions of each single individual only added to the confusion. Apart from the questions about what the father's role is to be, there are also a multitude of questions on what is good for the baby and what is not. The questions, trust me, just tear you apart. And why? Because it's your baby and not somebody else's. Unborn still, yet you feel like questioning the doctor, the medication, doing a lot of research over the internet, even though your doc is trustworthy. Is the baby doing fine? Is the position right? Are so many scans ok for the baby? I had most of these questions like any other doting, worried dad-to-be. The bottomline was : We did not have prior knowledge. We were first time parents. All we relied on, was reviews and learnings on the internet(the internet was quite helpful though :) ) Now, my wife, Tina, is a voracious internet reader. She googled a lot and came to know of an institue which had their Lamaze classes in Hyderabad, India. We chose this particular one, Healthy Mother India. You can find them here. Lamaze classes are subtle exercises which both mom and dad can learn, they wont change things dramatically or exponentially, but can definitely help you weather the storm and make it appear like a manageable wind. That night, we decided, let's give it a shot, we'll learn some exercises, even if nothing else helps. So we took the leap, and what a life-changing leap it was. Through the classes, we learnt that exercises were a small part of the course, any exercise cannot last 6 weeks with a session for 3 hours every week. We hadn't signed up for gymming. It included counselling and the essence of what motherhood and fatherhood are like. Tips on what to do and how most of the 'what-not-to-dos' are just myths. Two weeks into it, we were now more clear in the mind, on what is a myth and what is hearsay. We started questioning, not just doctors who take undue advantage of the ignorance of the people on the subject, but our own traditional unfound beliefs as well. People always raised an eye-brow on why Tina continued to go to work even in her 8th and 9th month of pregnancy. We were now confident of what we were doing. This is very important, because as a parent, if you are not confident of what you are doing, then you will start believing whatever people around you say. Most of it, again would not be trustworthy. Knowledge is the key, and there are multiple ways of getting it. Internet, personal counselling, classes like the one we attended, all help. Specially in India, there would be lot of people telling you what to eat and what not to eat, where to go and what not to do. Advice is free like air! But, right advice? not free... you gotta earn it. Let me tell you, in the ninth month, Tina and I went to watch movies in normal multiplexes on weekends with good amount of crowd. We had dinner in restaurants. Tina continued her office till the day just before delivery. To be frank, the only 'to-do' thing is to be normal. Apart from this, the one question which will haunt most 'aware' parents(to the ignorant and muharat fans, this won't matter, enjoy the bliss of your ignorance) is whether a normal delivery can be ensured. This question was also stinging our minds. Fortunately for us, our instructor Dr. Vijaya Krishnan, put a lot of sanity in the thought process. We then questioned our OB/gynaec whom we had been consulting for a good long 6 months. The hospital was super reputed, so was the gynaec. For obvious reasons, I wouldn't name both of them, take this, they are considered to be really good and their C-section rates are close to 80%, I gave them a lot of benefit of doubt there. But for that benefit of doubt, I think they would cross 80% conveniently. Our OB would hardly recognize us among the scores of patients everyday. Slowly but surely, the practices of the corporate hospital were also putting us off. Every visit would entail a scan, new medicines, checkups and appointments for the next visit. It was like a completely well thought out business strategy. On the other hand, 3-4 weeks of Lamaze classes and counselling had a telling effect on our psyche, on how to deal with the problem on hand. No longer, were we just audience, we were the players, the game was ours, we had to play. We couldn't be allowed to just sit and watch, we had to take control. That's when we decided, it was time to quit. We quit the hospital we followed for months, we did not have any complaints against the doctor we visited, it was just the unfriendliness and the mechanization of the whole process which prompted us to cut off. Now, actively, we pursued the midwifery model of delivery, prenatal checks which revolved more around asking the mother how she felt in the past few days and analyzing each single detail in case there were any troubles. This was in stark contrast against the atmosphere of assembly line tests that we were used to. Each session lasted half to an hour and it revolved only around one thing - the Mother. The baby checks were minimal. Apart from the position and the heart rate check, as long as the mother was fine, we always concluded the baby was fine. Now, isn't this how mother nature meant it to be? Are any of the mammals around us subjected to the kind of assembly line business oriented checks prenatally? All through this, I was a part, not just a spectator. I was with her in the room always, not just a driver who drove her to the clinic. Clinic is the wrong word, its a natural birthing center. Through the thick and thin, like they say, in illness and health, I was with her, every checkup, every visit... noting every detail of the supplements she needed, every food which would help her. I asked her, is there something else I could do? She said, is there something else I could ask for? This is all. Those are the kind of words which made my day everyday! The day was nearing... we waited with bated breath. She broke her bag of waters on the morning of 3rd August. Did we panic? Yes. Did the education help us? A big yes, inspite of the panic, we knew what to do. Note the color and the texture and call Vijaya :) That's what we did, the support was tremendous, 6 in the morning, she was on the phone asking Tina the details she needed. We went for an intermediary check that afternoon to the birthing center. All was well, but it could happen anytime, with this result we drove back home. That night the contractions started, I panicked again... but that's the thing. You would anyway panic, because you are human and it concerns you... but few minutes into it, sanity prevailed. I got a diary out, started timing the contractions. It was 930 PM on the 3rd of August. They progressed well, started occurring more frequently and for longer durations. We called Vijaya again, she just asked us to keep timing them and informing her about it every few hours. I was thankful for that kind of support in the midnight. It was about 230 AM on 4th August, when I thought that writing the timings of the contractions needed some innovation. I googled a bit and found the contraction timer. For all you people reading this, you can find it here. It's an easy to use tool. All you have to do is press a Start/Stop button and it gives you the exact timings to milliseconds and also tells you the time between contractions. :) Wow, some good innovation! Next morning, 4th of August at about 5 AM, Vijaya called us to the birthing center. Armed with our delivery bag, we set out, the roads were empty... drive was smooth. All through the drive I just remembered one thing I learnt, "Babies don't fly out" Even if there was traffic, they would give you a cool 3-4 hours time so that you reach your care provider. So all you dads worried about the travel time to the care provider, relax. It happens only in movies! And if its a bluemoon and it happens with you in the car, then whoa.. you are a movie star! The contractions kept getting stronger, by now, I was moving like a trained mid...maybe husband :D Just stayed with her, held her, wherever she needed help, helped her with various positions. Vijaya and Marianne, the two docs who helped us through the whole thing stood there like pillars who gave strength to the whole structure to stand. They kept analyzing how and when what was happening, the heartrate of the baby every 15 mins. They told us positions we hadn't heard about in the classes too. It was on the job learning. I held Tina right through it. It was a long long labor. But with it I saw the beauty of all of it. Nothing is left to chance, nothing is left unplanned by the nature. Each single contraction, each single pain produces hormones which release endorphins which act like pain killers and help you weather the process. The birthing process is so beautifully crafted in a way that you cannot imagine, its a process that will teach you that no amount of science can replicate such a deeply intricate process. Each step in itself is a marvel. Step 1 releases a hormone that leads to Step 2, Step 2 releases another which leads to step 3. You can only marvel at all this as a Dad, simply because your body is not capable of this. The female body is. I was astounded, a little scared to see the lengths to which Tina was able to pull it off, she grunted like a beast, possessed, to deliver her baby. This is the nature's path breaking moment which comes in every mother's life, and I would plead to all the ladies, let it come the way it is meant to come. Do not tamper, unless there is some complication you are going through. After a long labor and pushing using multiple positions, the angel surfaced. Surfaced at 1540 India time, 4th of August, 2011. Tired after a lot of work, the baby looked a little worn out too :) But a pat on her back and she screamed... screamed like there was no tomorrow. And I, I just stood there standing. I stood standing without a single word escaping my lips. My eyes were not moist, they were wet. I had just experienced the spectacle, the birth of my daughter. Words failed me, I thanked God and nature for what they built into a small square foot of the mother's body. I thanked God and nature for the intricate processes which they built, processes which are foolproof, processes which never had to go through a CmmI or an ISO rating. I thanked Vijaya and Marianne for all their experience and support. But yet, I just stood there standing. What's a dad anyway? Nothing much, but he can support. Support that his baby will call him by a name tomorrow : 'Papa'. Love to my baby Advika, my wife Tina(or Shiva as she is officially known), to my parents and my care providers Vijaya and Marianne without whom it wouldn't have been possible.

The blog has moved!

Hello people

My blog has now moved to my own website for better usability and integration with the other parts of the website.

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